Depression: how my friends helped me

Isaac, a Time to Change bloggerLast year when I had been under stress due to university work and my job coming to an end, I became so socially isolated and depressed and, something that anyone who has a lived experience of depression would understand, lost in the moment of the darkness of depression.

I cannot impress how unwell I had become. Moreover, at that time in my life I was unable to see the fact that I was clinically depressed. It had got to the point where I did not want to live another day and I had become overwhelmed by the darkness I call my depression. I did not actively want to end my life as I would have needed to have the get-up-and-go that was needed to do anything that involved moving, thinking or processing.

I have, over the years, named my depression “the darkness” as this is the only way I can explain these times as darkness - a world without colour and great sense of pain.

I would say my life is like a coin. On one side of the coin there is a darkness that is what I now know as depression and on the other said there is lightness which is what I call mania. My life, living with mental ill health, is like the coin spinning and spinning. Sometimes the coin lands on the depressed side and other time on the manic side. However, more often than not, the coin is just spinning and I am waiting to see where the coin will land and the mental anguish of the waiting game is played out day-to-day.

I remember I had not been out or spoken to anyone for days 

However, sometimes the coin of mental ill health may be shuffled by life events and circumstances eg the loss of my job and university. I remember I had not been out or spoken to anyone for days and I didn’t even have the insight to think about opening the blinds in my bedroom. I had become socially isolated, lost within the comfort of my bedroom. My loved ones had planned to take me to hospital and it was close to happening. However two very dear friends took a different approach.

This approach was just to sit in the same room as me and watch TV. The next day my friend came with a picnic and we had a bed picnic and on day three a long chat about how I was feeling. I remember both of my friends did this independently of each other. I later asked them why they did what they did.

By day six I was sitting within my small garden with my friends

Although this was something that I did not process at the time, this was positive as both my friends had been able to offer what I needed and, by day six I was sitting within my small garden with my friends.

I believe the key to this success was that they asked basic questions “ Isaac, what do you want?” and “is there anything you don’t want me to do?” Moreover them just being able to sit with me during the times when words were not expressed or when I didn’t feel like talking. I know this is a skill that not many people have. More often than not silence can be very difficult place for people to visit. When looking back on those dark feelings that I could not process and that I didn’t have the energy to deal with, having two good friends who were able to talk to me about my needs and wants was the key to me being able to put one foot forward and then the next.

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Comments

The blackness

I have just had what I call the blackness for five days - a short period but awful each minute. Best help was talking to my daughter and being with others as much as possible - really had to force myself to go out and for a couple of days couldn't drive. I saw my GP who asked if I felt a bit weepy!!!! Weepy as in wanting to die although never suicidal. Found camomile tea helped calm my stomach and took antidepressants from doctor. Could not sleep but so tired. Could not watch tv or read but found I could do crosswords and my IPad was brilliant - playing quizzes for hours and also to play relaxation music. Over it now but know it may come back - this is my second time. The first was because of redundancy and was worse and lasted longer. This time don't know what caused it. But it has made me view life differently - health is important and family and friends are worth more than gold. To anyone going through it, you are not the only one - 1 in 4 people have mental health issues - we are normal.

anxiety and depression

i have been suffering with anxiety and depression for over a year,my partner isnt a great help when we live seperate and i ask him are u coming 2nite and he makes excuses that he has no tobacco,i have an 11 year old son who i love with all my heart,ive been on tablets over a year now and although they help i try to take them every 3 days but when i can feel myself going funny i take one because i cant cope im also on a diet on change for life and i hardly eat i go out shopping and i spend three nights a week at my moms and have dinner there was stressful over xmas as my mom had been poorly aswell and there was family arguments and i cried and i couldnt settle every night i went to bed i couldnt sleep,shes gettin better now,i still have problems now sleeping and i wont let my partner touch me anymore because of the illness.

Low Days... My Own Hell

I have Clinical Depression, and at the moment going through one of my Low Moments. So far its lasted for almost a month since I misscarried... I also have Epilepsy and Hemoplegia. And after seizures my entire body is left is termoil. I have been suicidal in the past. At the moment I am scared I could reach that point again, after reach out to my doctors for a councelor with no response and more frequent low days I can see myself falling. I can see the positives in my life a wonderful fiance, a loving exstend family, great friends, independance... But non of this seems to comfort me as I keep getting this terrible feeling I am going to loose all of it. Despite my fiances best efforts to reasure me and his paitents when all I can do is sleep I am getting worse, my health is disapearing, and I feel out of sync with the rest of the world. I know I should be happy and in many ways I am, the pain and upset I feel doesn't come from the situation I am in but something else... This is hell as I know what the people around me and who love me are being put through but I can't find the drive to leave the house on my own, I am scared to, I don't want to draw the curtains.

Hi Lou,I'm sorry to hear

<p>Hi Lou,</p><p>I'm sorry to hear you're feeling low at the moment. The Samaritans are always there if you need someone to talk to. You can call them on&nbsp;08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or you can find your local branch if you want to talk to somebody face to face:&nbsp;http://www.samaritans.org/branches Or if you wanted practical advice about your condition and different types of treatment or support you could get in touch with the infolines run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, the 2 charities behind our campaign. You can find their contact details here:</p><p>http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html</p><p>http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines</p><p>Best wishes,</p><p>Ed<br>Time to Change&nbsp;</p>

Depression

So umm Me and My partner of a year broke up a month ago, I could see he was depressed, but no matter how many times I tried to broach it he would say he was fine. After our anniversary I broached it again after he had lied to me about being signed off by his work about it, He agreed that he needed to go to the doctors and I went with him. The week he got put on the antidepressants he was all over the place, I tried to hold it together but I was falling apart. the friday of that week he sat me down and told me it was over that he couldn't do it any more. I felt crushed but In time I learnt that it was the best thing for him, All I can say to people is that you must do what is right for you. I realised that I had done all i could for him and that He needed to be him. So for all of you going through this Keep strong you are wonderful people and you are strong.

Bipolar Psycotic Depression

I can relate with you. My husband has suffered with depression for over 10yrs.We have been together for just over 25yrs & married for 14yrs. I have supported him throughout his illness & always been there for him. On 6th December 2012. He refused to go into hospital & without going into personal details which I do not want to discuss, I had no alternative but to call the police. The police arressted him & after he was assessed by doctors, was taken into hospital. I was a total wreck! I knew I had done the right thing, but I felt as though I had betrayed him. The police told me that my husband was to have no contact with me whatsover & could not return home. He is waiting to be assessed to be re-homed in a Residential Care Home for people who also have Mental Health problems & where there is 24hr care on hand. Every circumstance is different. I take one day at a time now. My health has improved & I know my husband is safe where he is. I am not walking on eggshells anymore, wondering what is going to happen next, but having no contact at all is SO hard. Good luck to you & your partner, & for anyone else out there, stay strong & make sure you do what is right for you.

Good days and bad days

I have had depression now for nearly a year. I realised that I had depression when I was always in a low mood and nothing I did seemed to help it. I didn't really want to be in this world and realised that I needed help. A friend who is a councillor suggested that maybe taking anti-depressants so I went to the doctors. They were really supportive and not judgmental. I was put on cilatropan with a course of cbt which would help with changing my way of thinking. The cbt really helped however I realised that the tablets were not strong enough so I went up to a higher dosage. I still realise that I will always good days and bad days but the hardest thing is when you are having a bad one it's hard to get out of it. The best thing I find is talking to people and not being in your own company to much! Depression is a horrible thing but the main thing is to try realise and remember the good points of life and take each day as it comes!

My first serious depressive

My first serious depressive episode had me unable to get out of bed for two weeks. I couldn't speak to anyone. Certainly not the mental health professionals who sat on the end of my bed asking if I felt suicidal. I was enveloped in a black nothing sinking deeper and deeper. My husband was so good although I barely recognised him during this time. He just sat and talked to me. No pressure to get me out of bed. My recovery was slow but eventually I started to feel 'normal'. However within a few weeks I hit my first manic phase bagging up all my clothes for charity amongst many strange actions. This was to be the start of my bipolar. I'm three years in now and with medication lead the same life/job as I did before my diagnosis. Mental health does not define me. It is just another part of me!

Tired

Last July I've decided to take on a gym for a month, I felt great, taking vitamins, then went on a holiday, back to work, had a down time in my new job and in October bang! I had my darkest month in many years of depression. I am tired. I have been completely open at work and although I work with nurses, their idea of mental illness seams distorted. I believed that the caring side of their position would come out but no, it didn't happen and I want to cry every day I am with them. I am sad and tired.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're

<p>Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time at the moment. We have a page about<a href="/talk-about-mental-health/telling-someone-about-your-mental-health-problem"> talking to friends and colleagues about mental health</a> on our website that you might find helpful or, if you wanted more practical advice, you could get in touch with the excellent infolines run by Mind and Rethink Mental Ilness, 2 of the charities that run our campaign. You can find their contact details here:&nbsp;http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines and&nbsp;http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html</p><p>Kind regards,</p><p>Ed<br>Time to Change&nbsp;</p>

Get me out of this mess

I broke down at work last week, Ive been fighting depression for years it comes and goes. I feel like im living a painfull life a the moment. I can not let family know how I'm feeling they find it hard to see me this way, and it makes me angry its easier to live it alone. They think Im still at work but Im off sick. I have slowly issolated myself. I find it hard to speak to freinds the few that I have.I put on such a brave face and hurt inside. Suicidal thoughts come and go and my safe place is to sleep. I support people with mental health why is it that I can be supportive to others and neglect and find it hard to support myself. I want to access services but afraid that I will come into contact with a service user. How hard is it... Gotta go back to work next week its going be tough, but its a way of getting out, People see me as a strong person but I live 2 lives this one im in at the moment is the blackest

Help!

My best friend and I are both in Yr11, and for the past 6 months, she has been struggling with depression. recently, with the added pressure of exams, a bad breakup, ect. its been getting worse. She is very private, and won't let me come round, or vice versa, bur we talk at least 3 times a week on the phone. I don't know how to help her; she's wonderful normally, but the depressions been making her lash out, which she then feels horrible guilt about, and it gets worse. I've told her I'll always be there for her, but she won't take me up on my offer, as she "doesn't want to drag me down" (not gonna happen). Please, if anyone is/has been in my situation, give me advice on how to get through to her. I love her, she's always been there for me, and I won't let this mental illness win. Thank you Emily

Hi Emily, I'm sorry to hear

<p>Hi Emily, I'm sorry to hear your friend is struggling with her mental health at the moment. It's great that you are there for her though. We have a page of <a href="/talk-about-mental-health/tips">tips on talking to friends and family</a> about mental health that you might find helpful. It can take time but the fact that you have made your friend aware that you are there for her to talk to will be a great help to her. If you wanted to find out more about how depression can affect people you can read up on it on the <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/7980_understanding_depression">Mind website</a> or you can call the <a href="http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html">infoline run by Rethink Mental Illness</a> and they will be able to give you more confidential advice on how to help your friend.&nbsp;</p><p>Kind regards,</p><p>Ed<br>Time to Change&nbsp;</p>

Dark days

It's very tiring and sometimes feel as though I just want to be able to find joy again in simple things that used to make me content . Mine began a year and a half ago .

Hiding away

Ive been suffering from depression on and off for many years. Its when I look back now that I recognise that I needed help earlier. My job ended and I was told in a meeting the next was an emergency appointment to the psychiatrist. I was rocking backwards and forwards and thought people were out to get me. Looking back at that appointment it was awfull. They can see you are not well but want to go through all your history. Its from my lived experience that I now work with people supporting them with their mental health. This last week has been very black I' ve isolated myself turned to taking more tablets than I should. Its a way of harming that peopel cant see, unitl yes you have blood results back becuase you go to doctors in tears and break down. My family dont know I'm off sick when they ring I just say Ive had a busy day. Supporting other people is easier than helping yourself its hard been alone. The days are so long and the easiest thing to do is sleep. The hardest part is finding somebody you can trust and undersatnd you, I feel as though once the door is shut thats it ALONE again.

Depression and autism

I’ve been feeling very bad and down for some time now. I’m a single mother with a very young autistic child. He has hardly any speech or understanding of language, learning difficulties and very challenging behaviour. I just can’t seem to cope with him. He’s constantly on the go, shouting, screaming, running around; he can’t be left alone for a few minutes for his own safety. I still haven’t come to terms with his illness. I feel suicidal most days, crying unstoppably, wondering if the future is going to be any better than what I have to deal with now. At the same time I know that my family would not be able to care for him if I wasn’t here and he would end up in an institution or like, which has brought my thoughts to ‘taking him with me’. I know I’m not strong enough to do anything like that now but I’m scared that one day things will get so bad and I will just snap and …I don’t have my family around and really no friends who I can talk to. I know people would just judge and criticise including my family so I fight with it all on my own. I know there probably isn’t much anyone can advise apart from the usual ‘go to see your GP and they will help you..’ thing which I’m not prepared to do. I’m too scared that they will take my child away and then I’ll be completely on my own. Despite everything we're very close. I wish life wasn’t so hard and that I would know how to deal with my child and that crippling illness called autism.

Hello, I'm sorry to hear

<p>Hello, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time at the moment. The Samaritans are always available if you would like to talk through your experiences with someone. You can call them on&nbsp;08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or <a href="http://www.samaritans.org/branches">visit your local branch</a> if you would like to talk to someone face to face. You can also call the Autism Helpline and they will be able to offer you expert advice and let you know what support is available. You can call them on&nbsp;0808 800 4104.</p>

What can I do to help?

Its been hard watching my friend struggling with mental health problems. Although she has counselling and medication and took almost a year off work. Sometimes she seems strong and positive, and is able to socialise and have a good laugh, but mostly she feels so overwhelmed she wants to avoid everything and focuses inwardly. She's been very open with me about dealing with her illness, we've had lots of in depth chats and tears and hugs. I am there for her whenever she needs me. I've made lots of effort to keep communicating and suggesting ways to spend time together because I don't want the darkness to totally overwhelm her. But recently she has cut off communication entirely. Over Christmas all the invitations to catch up or socialise were refused. She stopped interacting with me on Faceboo and texts. When I asked why the sudden change, she messaged a curt reply about not being able to be the friend I needed her to be. I know she is in a downward spiral and this is the illness talking. I have told her I am there for her, that I will take whatever she offers in the way of friendship - but there has just been silence in response. If I leave it, will she sink deeper into that spiral thinking that I don't want to help and have moved on, found new friends and am having a great social life without her? If I push it, phone her, go round to see her, will that make it worse? I don't know what to do for the best :-(

Hi, something as simple as a

<p>Hi, something as simple as a text or a phone call just to let you know you are there for her could make all the difference in the world. There are some <a href="/talk-about-mental-health/tips">tips on talking to friends and loved one's</a> going through mental health problems on our website or this <a href="/blog/supporting-someone-with-depression">video blog</a> is a really moving example of how supporting your friend can really help. If you want to speak to someone and get more advice on how to help you can call Mind or Rethink's info lines. You can call Mind on 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk or call Rethink on 0300 5000 927 or email them on their <a href="http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html">website</a>.&nbsp;</p>

stuck in a rut

I'm on my 3rd kind of anti-depressants. So far, these don't seem to be doing any good either. I'd love to just end everything here and now but I know that's the cowards way out and I couldn't do that to my family. I'm sick of spending the majority of my day in tears. I've found myself binge eating recently, I've gained a stone in 2weeks. Now I feel disgusting and want to leave the house even less. I don't remember the last decent night's sleep I had. I'm running on about 2 and a half broken hours a night. I don't have anyone I can talk to; my family aren't talkers and my friend is recovering from a mastectomy, she doesn't need this. I want to know what kind of person I really am under all this darkness, pain. Under the scars. But I've been this way for 17years. I'm only 28. I hate everything my life has become

time to talk to someone

Hi Vanessa I would say for me sleep is something that affects my mood and when I have poor sleep I become unwell very quickly. I now get help when I have times when I cant sleep . with regards to anti-depressants they do take time to work and I would also say that for me medication alone did not work. I would talk to my GP if I was your and ask what are your options. if you have some to talk to please talk to them about the way you are feel or call the Samaritans they are always available if you would like someone to talk your experiences through. You can call 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or find your local branch if you'd like to chat face to face. If you would like information about the support available in your local area, you can call the infolines run by Mind and Rethink. You can find their contact details here http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html and here: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines The question outlined in you post have really took me back to when I felt like you do, however we all feel very different and different approaches work for different people . I went to see a psychologist and it was the best thing I did this worked for me. Thank you for taking the time to post your comments Best wishes Isaac Samuels

A friend in need

I have friend who has been suffering with depression and anxiety since last year. ( well diagnosed by the G.P and medicated). But she was properly suffering for many years. My friends has used Drugs and has used cannabis heavily for 15yrs. She is now 12 weeks clean. My friend has had an on off relationship with her sons dad and has broken up with since New Year's Day . He has now said that he wants nothing to do with her. I had her and her son stay over on Saturday but since yesterday she is worrying me constant phone calls of crying . She was going to walk with her son who's 5 from her village to our town in the snow and ice. I told her to call her G.P today, who has now referred her to a phycholosgist . She told that she wants me or her mum to take her son as she can't cope. What to do help .

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your

<p>Hi, I'm sorry to hear your friend is struggling at the moment. Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, the 2 charities that run Time to Change, both have excellent infolines that will be able to advise you of the best way to support your friend. You can call Mind on&nbsp;0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk and you can call Rethink on 0300 5000 927 or <a href="http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html">email via their web page</a>. Kind regards, Ed | Time to Change</p>

Hi I just wanted to take the

Hi I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for your comment. I am reluctant to give advice, however I can empathize with your situation as someone with lived experiences of mental ill health. Every person is an individual and what you are doing by asking and posting question is the right thing to do. I would just say that the only thing you can do is be there unconditionally for your friend. I am delighted to know there are people like you. Offer your friend time and just listed to her. Best wishes Isaac Samuels

darkness

having trouble leading a normal life. suicidal thought flash through my brain a few times a day. cannot move on from my divorce as i still have feelings for my ex even though he cheated and was cruel. i dont go out incase i bump into him and his new girlfriend. my brain is my own worst enemy. dont want to wash and dress or clean the house. how can i move on??? i see no future only darkness and pain.

Hello, the Samaritans are

<p>Hello, the Samaritans are always available if you would like someone to talk your experiences through. You can&nbsp;call 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or <a href="http://www.samaritans.org/branches">find your local branch</a> if you'd like to chat face to face. If you would like information about the support available in your local area, you can call the infolines run by Mind and Rethink. You can find their contact details here&nbsp;<a href="http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html">http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html</a> and here:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines">http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines</a>&nbsp;</p>

depression

I found myself suffering depression and also found my mind was my worst enemy, it seemed like only negative thoughts filled my day from childhood experiences through to date, I make a point to look for positive things to try to break that habit now whether it's listening to the birds singing or just smelling the scent of flowers or fresh air on my face, relaxing in a scented bath, having a hairdo, I have good days and bad but if I do nothing I know I'm just not enjoying anything, some things I took no notice of before I now enjoy and can smile about I hope that I'm retraining my mind to be more positive because I have more good days than bad now, I hope this helps I may not know you but I care enough to want to reach and give you a hug.

talk to someone

I total understand and would agree with the time to change team pick up the phone and talk to someone. I have used the Samaritans and feel that sometimes talking to someone about that way you are feeling helps. I always have times when I feel suicidal due to the darkness for depression. I can't tell you how much talking helps, I understand this may be hard a first however it dose get better when you can talk to someone about the darkness for depression. I would say that when I think back to times where I have felt the same and I can not imagine a future however in time this passed and things got better. The Samaritans are always available if you would like someone to talk your experiences through. You can call 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or find your local branch if you'd like to chat face to face. If you would like information about the support available in your local area, you can call the infolines run by Mind and Rethink. You can find their contact details here http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html and here: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines Best wishes Isaac Samuels

depression

I am in tears as I write this I have been with a cheating partner for 7 years I have had enough and am feeling so low I don't want to get out of bed or do a anything. I know I am depressed. This relationship is destroying me, but I. do not want to be alone. I am embarrassed to talk to anyone I feel so alone.

Hi, there is lots of

<p>Hi, there is lots of information on the <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/7980_understanding_depression">Mind</a> and <a href="http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/depression/">Rethink</a> websites about depression that you might find helpful. You can also talk to their infolines if you would like confidential and expert advice. You can call Mind on&nbsp;0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk or you can call Rethink on&nbsp;0300 5000 927</p>

waddayathink it is??!!

You are feeling miserable and powerless. I would guess that you'e afraid of facing the outside world on your own. I would also guess that this has always been so. You must leave the relationship. You need self-respect. It takes effort, though. It's easier to be dependent and depressed than it is to act to change the situation. Though it's easier, it is a miserable situation. You have to harness your strength and make the change happen. If you don't have a friend you can really trust and confide in, see your doctor. Just tell the doctor exaxctly what you wrote above & that'll be the conversation starter. If you're worried that the receptionist is going to ask you why you need a doctor appointment, just say "i'd rather keep that information for the doctor". If the receptionist persists, just repeat the aforesaid, firmly. You have a life ahead of you. Good luck.

Interview with you

Hi, Reading your story I feel inspired. I am currently a third year student at Sheffield Hallam University studying journalism. Having suffered from mental illness myself, I have decided to make a radio documentary on how the Media represent mental illness for my dissertation. I am determined to get the message across that mental illness should not be overlooked, and should not be regarded less important than physical illness. I was wondering if I could interview you, to talk about your experiences. Your help would be really appreciated. Jess

my illness

I have suffered with depression for years i have got so bad i cant fuction i keep saying i going to get help and never do i am verey scared how i am feeling and behaving i need help now

Hi Tracey, the Samaritans are

<p>Hi Tracey, the Samaritans are always available if you need someone to talk to. You can call them on&nbsp;08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org or you can find your local branch if you want to speak to someone face to face: http://www.samaritans.org/branches </p><p> Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, the 2 charities that run Time to Change, both also run really good infolines where you can get confidential advice and information. You can call Mind on 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk and you can call Rethink on 0300 5000 927</p>

A lifetime.

Now in my 50's I have suffered with depression since I was 19. Numerous periods on medication have not been successful in moderating the symptoms. Some I have been on for years, others for shorter periods due to intolerance. There is no way out for me using drugs as a control. I have given up seeing my gp, as they just go though the motions of either trying an already tried pill, or the latest on the market. I seem to be one of the few who are not likely to respond to medication in a positive way. Now unemployed after 21 years at the same employer, there is no future in sight.

Crisp

If your depression is chemical, you've probably always had it, but it only manifested in a way you recognised, at 19. You say you're on medication. But are you taking it responsibly, exactly as directed? If it's not working, you must see your doctor. If it doesn't work, you shouldn't be on it. If your condition is a chemical one, there will be a drug which can help you. There's nothing to be ashamed of about taking medication which merely corrects a chemical imbalance & brings you in line with the rest of humanity. Take what works for you, but you must take it as directed. You are in a very difficult situation regarding employment. Allow yourself to be concerned about this, but remember that your condition might make you feel even worse about it than you should. Don't focus on what you've lost, but try to focus on what you have (limbs, health...) and what you can do. Please see a doctor again anyway. Plan what you'll say before you go in. Be clear and succinct. Good luck. Tim

Been round them all... A few times.

Thanks for your comment tim. I've been on meds since I was 19, and many of them a few times over the years with different gps. My last gp said I am probably one of the very few who do not get and results from meds, and should therefore do my best... My current gp has tried some of them again but to no avail. Usually I am on them for 9 - 18 months. I exist therefore I am. Tho today has been bad. Couldn't stop crying this morning.

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