My BDP diagnosis and my friends reaction

Hello. Thanks for visiting my blog. It's a bit odd for me to write with a focus (or even slant) towards stigma and discrimination as these are a relatively minor part of my lavish mental illness experience.

Perhaps I should start with a quick intro. Hmm. Now is the moment when I have to prioritise the elements of my identity. This is usually context-driven, so I could swiftly decide to describe myself on a tax self-assessment thingy as an exceptionally honest 49 year old with no off-shore, on-shore or unsure investments. And for a dog lovers' club as being owned by the world's cutest, hairiest scruff-bag.

But for an anti-stigma website? Well I'm still 49 (unless it takes me over 8 months to complete this posting) and my friends would say that the maddest thing about me is how besotted I am with my dog. My psychiatrist/therapist would respond to that analysis with a characteristically almost imperceptible eyebrow-raise. And scarcely a glance at what could be mistaken for a snoring rug lying on the floor between us.

Actually, the whole thing about my friends out agedly rejecting my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder raises interesting (for me, at least) issues about stigma. Eligibility criteria for friends would eliminate anyone who passionately feels I have a personality disorder. But I still find frustrating their dismissal of my having BPD, however supportively it's intended.

I'll probably sound off in another posting about how stupid, inaccurate and offensive the label 'borderline personality disorder' is. For now, I'll just mention that it's a heavy-duty psychiatric condition, manifesting itself in emotional instability and intensity (especially of the intolerable psychic pain variety), and most of us use self-harming as a 'coping mechanism'. Being suicidal is often part of the Deluxe BPD Package, and one which unfortunately dominates my allocation of BPD.

I hate having BPD but it was a relief to eventually discover that it's the reason for such a bizarre and incapacitating range of symptoms. (I did a classic Internet self-diagnosis, 6 months into weekly therapy with a specialist BPD psychiatrist, in a specialist PD unit. He's impressively economical with handing out diagnoses, especially ones with ludicrous names.)

What part might stigma play in my friends' reaction to me having BPD? Their motivation is the opposite of, and probably intended to partly counter-act, a view that mental illness reflects or proves inferiority. And they hate the implication of the name. But what if being mentally ill was no more stigmatising than having leprosy? Oops, bad example. Then, say, having a chronic back disorder? They might mutter about the stupid label and empathise about having a nasty medical condition, but feel as relieved as I do that there is a reason for my symptoms (and related dysfunctional behaviours) and that this has enabled me to have very specialist treatment for it.


BPD stigma

The stigma against bpd is phenomenal within the mental health profession> The expectation is that sufferers will be manipulative, lying,hystrionic and attention seeking. Anything odd you do as a person with a mental health problem can be seen through bpd binoculars as attention seeking : crying? attention seeking; retreating to a quiet place: attention seeking; interacting with others: proof that you are putting it all on; suicidal: attention seeking. The staff in specialist centres are better, but if you are not bpd and sent there it can be terribly hard to get by. Anything that can break down the barrier between "real mental illness" psychiatric medical model and "pull yourself together it's your behaviour thats the problem" psychological model and recognise that there are degrees of physical and psychological and enviromental factors present in everyone would be a real help

Can relate to your comment

<p>Can relate to your comment totally. I am one of the unfortunate ones that BPD isn't actually the root cause of my problems, but they have manifested in a similar way. I have been labelled and labelled and labelled and treated and treated and treated, in a specialist pd centre as well. And I've not got any better; I'd say my quality of life is actually worse.&nbsp;</p><p> I don't expect anyone with the BPD label likes the diagnosis, but if it explains things, and allows your treatment to be guided correctly then I guess I could put up with it.</p><p> Long story short, I have Aspergers. I believe the ways of thinking you get with AS is the root cause of my problems. I was looking at an old report from this specialist centre the other day, reporting that I said I was 'petrified of people'. They themselves reported I was 'cold, aloof'. Many other things. To an ASD specialist, they're very AS traits. To a PD specialist, it's being difficult..?. (I think!!.. I'm not really sure what they thought of me!) &nbsp;My current team agrees I have Aspergers, but they don't see how that 'changes things'. &gt;.&lt; I now blog about my thoughts about life. 18 months ti an assessment. IF they agree to fund it. -hugs- to people. Whatever their label.&nbsp;</p>


<p>My twat of an ex psychologist has dumped the BPD label and written down that I have 'Emotionally Unbalanced PD'. Does anyone know the history of this dafter label?</p>

BPD label

<P>It seems like a particularly unhelpful version of the term sometimes used in America for BPD - Emotional Regulation Disorder. This at least captures the essence of my MH difficulties and dumps the Personality slur!</P>

Thank you ! I am especially

Thank you ! I am especially struck by your observation that some kind comments from friends can themselves show stigma or denial All love, Chris

BDP diagnosis

Can fully appreciate your comments, as I too have suffered with BDP diagnosis. Whilst not wanting BDP particularly I can at least own my crazy head but it has been an uphill battle with friends, family and the mental health service in my area. It appears to me that you are dammed if you are dammed if your not! If you don't have diagnosis then your difficult to treat, complex and manipulative. If you have diagnosis that causes huge stigma, and problems in your everyday life.

Often family and friends can be the most painful

This mirrors experiences I have had, my mental health was a major factor in my marriage break up, and my other family have very low expectations, or are in complete denial. And did I mention on occasions blaming me for behaviours that are related to my illness... kind of feels like a one armed man being criticised by his tailor for not being the right shape. On the positive side, I have found a local mental health self help charity, and so mainly hang around with a bunch of other nutters (reclamation at work there!)... suprisingly enough..or not... family and friends .. for a fair few people, seem to be amongst the first to jump ship when the iceberg with the word 'mental health' hits the hull. On the positive side... saves on xmas cards.

time to change from within...when bpd can be bi polar too

i have bi polar and bpd but last year on the psych ward the mental health team said was making up the symptoms of bi polar because i was manipulative and had bpd and wanted bi polar. which i didnt...after making a complete new psychatrist said i had bpd and bi polar and now on mood stablisers my mad swinging one way and the other has ceased...phew. its breathtaking how bpd s get told that they even make up their bi polar and indeed ive been told everytime bar once that i made up psychosis. its bad enough to suffer these illnesses without the pople who are meant to help telling u that ur manipulative and making it up. on one day alone the police sectioned me on 136 twice in two counties and the psych wards let me go minus medicine and on a psychotic manic high. they let me drive psychotic after a section 136 on a different occassion to b picked up over 100 miles later on a 136...time to change from within too i think and that was all in 2009 and there is alot more to that story...believe me...

Borderline Personality Disorder

<p>I would be interested to know what this specialist treatment that people have had for Borderline Personality Disorder as i have had several rounds of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and inter personal therapy over years and nothing has been helpfull so the mental health team disposed of me saying that they couldn't help me.</p>

Treatment for BPD

<p>The newfangled treatment for BPD is Mentalisation Based Therapy.</p><p>Like you, I had CBT but it was only partially effective.</p><p>Also, don't let them fob you off as unhelpable.</p><p>Good luck.</p>


H.. I have been referred for CBT, Doctor diagnosed me as depressed and anxiety. I am going to see him next week. I feel like I am going mad at times. I relay all conversations I have had out loud to myself when I am on my own. I have strange dreams, and I find it hard at times to define what was a dream and what is reality. On so many occasions I search internet, just to `self diagnose`,. This is 1st time finding BPD, reading about it, and others blogs, maybe thats me


I have had the same experience over and over again the mental health teams disposing of me and saying 'they can not help me' I too have had several rounds of CBT and a round of inter personal therapy but unfortunately DBT is not available on NHS in our area. I also went on a course to help mental health sufferers get back into work and on the second appointment was told I was not ready to go back to work even though the government say I am at the end of the day there is no real help out there always find I am on my own again and again


I had bpd and I am now in remission. I did write a blog for the site but am still waiting to see if they can use it. I blog on wordpress too. I suffered domestic violence both community and in relationships which were always hidden and never dealt with because the so-called professionals felt it was my fault, even though I did not cause it. These people need to step back, and take a look at the reality and severity of someone vulnerable struggling to bring up her children in such frightening situations. I have never been violent, usually the victim made to be silent because anything gets held against me or no one believed me. We do need to get more information out there, because contrary to popular belief, someone with borderline is more likely to get hurt, than hurt someone else. I was terrified in my position, I tried shouting out but sadly no one listened, they were too busy blaming me and ignoring reality.

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