Supporting someone with depression: the tiniest things make a difference

<p>That is the first time I have heard someone honestly talk about how it feels to support someone with depression -getting very little back&nbsp; - my husband and best friend struggles with life and I try so hard to take the pain away but I can't.&nbsp; Your description makes me realise that it is helping even when it doesn't feel like I am getting through, so thank you for that. x</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

I just had to comment to say thank you. I've been supporting my other half who suffers with Bipolar. When he gets down, he ends our relationship time and time again, in a rage. He appears to have ended it for good this time (happened two weeks ago), but it's just really nice to think that someone appreciates the support, even though my time seems to have been wasted with him (which is heartbreaking). Thank you for helping me feel a bit better x

I have been supporting my partner who suffers from Bipolar. In the last nine months he has become very unsettled and he has broken up with me twice, when he has been suffering from very low episodes. A week later when he seems to rebalance he makes amends and assures me that he loves me. He has ended our relationship again (two weeks ago) and this time it looks as though its for good. I don't know what to do. I don't want to turn my back, but it seems I have no choice. Thank you for making me realise that some people do appreciate the support, even if my time appears to have been wasted with him. Thank you for helping me feel a little bit better. Dealing with the heart break of realising he doesn't care has been so difficult, but knowing that some people appreciate the help, doesn't make it feel like it was a complete waste. Thank you x

Thank you for posting this. Sums it up perfectly! Might need some education with Star Trek terms though. I'd love to talk to you! You seem so funky!

My Daughter has been unwell for a few years now. She lives 150miles away and at times it has been a heartbreaking struggle. I am pleased to say that although we still have a way to go, we are in a better place than we have been, after much perservance. It is still hard for her to get out of the house and attend appointments etc, but she is slowly getting there. Sometimes it has been really hard, especially recently when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis. I just didn't no what more I could do and if what I was doing was helping. I never gave up. I have a really special Daughter, who amazingly despite the difficulties got a Physics degree. She is a lovely special intelligent person has has so much to give to society and science and we her family love her very much. I believe with continuing support, she will be able to go out in the future and possibly trust people again and maybe have one or two friends. Also work again in scientific research. A very loving and positive Mum.

That was truly amazing! I'm a 49yr male that has suffered clinical depression for 7 years, lost wife,kids, family and friends alike and that has just made me cry like a baby. A very good analogy, even for non sci-fi peeps, to understand and to get the point across. That really should be put on Tv to help get the msg across, don't give up on us!

What a wonderful person you are. And your message is so nicely put. I've felt so guilty that I won't/can't let friends and family into my dark world. And, yes, I do feel very alone, even though I know that there are a handful of people in my life who really do care and want to help. But still I want to shut them out.

Wow! That was amazing. Thank you for sharing. x

Aaahhhhhhhhh, I loved that. As some who suffers from more sucky days than groovy ones right now, it can be hard to articulate just what you need and how to show your appreciation for the good friends that you sometimes forget to acknowledge because your vision is blinkered. Thank you for this video, it has raised my shields ;).

You have an incredibly great friend!

Fantastic video, I love the Starship metaphor and I would like it to be compulsory watching every six months for all mental health professionals.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Words don't quite cover how much that meant and the impact it had and how well timed it was for me to see it. But thank you. And thanks to Frances. You're a remarkable person.

Wow! So moving and so true (tears rolling as I'm writing this) so so difficult to explain to your loved ones how you feel, you've done it amazingly, I'm gonna get my mum to watch this. She came to one of my therapy sessions (for depression/anxiety) which helped her to some point understand what I'm feeling - youve made it even the more easier, thank you so much for your words, you're a brave girl :-) X

Think you hit it spot on with the analogies, nicely done :-) It all sounded rather familiar, rest assured you're not alone! Another lady who writes well about Depression and Anxiety (amongst other things!) is Jenny Lawson over at TheBloggess.com. Worth a look. Keep smiling!

No one I know has ever described so exactly what my experience of depression was like, until now. Thank you. This struck such a chord. I spent almost 6 months with 90% shields up, just like you - going out, laughing, putting on a brave face - but not feeling anything at all for a long time, feeling totally disconnected from everything around me - until my "Frances" asked me what was going on and wouldn't take 'Nothing' for an answer. Without her, and several other people, never butting in but just being there, I might never have admitted I had depression and I might never have got help, right at the crisis point. They saved me then, I know that for sure. Even though I could be cruel and angry and dismissive at times, they persevered, knowing that it wasn't really me lashing out, but my illness - and for that, I will be forever grateful and in their debt. Thank you to all the "Frances"s of this world.

I must say u r a very lucky lady to have such a good friend. I have struggled with depression for many years and am very open about my illness. I wish that at my worst I could have had a "Frances" to save me. I spent 3 months in hospital which taught me a lot but it never leaves u just swings from good to bad. I wish u all the luck in the world for ur future and cherish ur friend xx

...some one really understands. The hell the media put us through, ATOS accusing us of lying... This very erudite, well articulated and, very warm message from such a warm and caring young lady is deeply moving. The star-trek and shields analogy is right on the money. Indeed, your genuine warmth and couragous; natural attitude is very refeshing. Thanks millions. A xox

First of all I must compliment you on your fabulous hair colour, it made me feel good. Which is one of the coping strategies I use to brighten the grey/black of depression into a happier colourful place. I've had clinical depression for 40 years and it has only been the the unstinting, bloody minded perseverance of my best friend, my wife, that has got me here. Your description so aptly describes what I fumbled towards over the years. It should be issued to every doctor's surgery in the country. Thanks for sharing

Thank you - so very much

Your video clip moved me to tears - and this is why... I had a serious breakdown in 1991, which left me hospitalised for several months - at the age of 36 - having never had anything like it before. Again, in 2008, due to stress at work, I was again suicidal. I don't often talk to my wonderful husband about why I didn't seem to care about leaving him alone if I succeeded in killing myself during that black episode. I can clearly remember him being so upset with me, whilst we were waiting for the ambulance. But I'm going to send him your video clip because it was the truth about the way I felt totally detached from all my friends and family, and even him - the love of my life. He went through so much with me, and I am so lucky that he stayed with me, despite everything I said and did. Love your hat, by the way. May you stay well for a long time - and keep your fingers crossed for me, 4 years of being well, and counting! Karen

i dont have a francis, and ive been struggling for about 3 years now. ive nearly lost my family and recently lost my job. i fear the next thing will be my house! ive tried the brave face and it doesnt seem to register. im scared and alone. i try to pretend it doesnt bother me, but i would love to have my wife back, i feel i have dragged her down as well. what happens when you think the sheilds have all gone and the gore has exploded! i dont know where to turn. i a embarressed, lonely, and feel like im losing everything sorry

I'm supporting a child I love dearly who is suffering with depression. Today I have felt helpless. Unable to understand why I'm putting so much in and getting so little back. Your video was like the answer to a prayer. Now I understand a bit more. I am certain that I will end up watching your video again and again - a life-line.