Understanding borderline personality disorder: how I taught my teacher

My daughter had emerging boarderline personality disorder which was eventually treated in a very caring and productive manner when she was seen by our local 16-19 service. Prior to this she had been labelled as anorexic and had been hospitalised twice, totaling 12 months of her teens. She went on to train as a mental health nurse after her sucessful therapy,with the full backing of her psychiatrist and was an excellent pupil.
Unfortunatley the stigma of BPD and anorexia was still a major burden to her, particularly as the occupational health doctor expressed their own uninformed view of her likelyhood to fail. However she continued to excel despite this biased view, but was always worried that she would be prevented from continuing the course by this individual.
My daughter became worried about an essay,(as many students do), but was not treated as other students would be, due to the stigma of her past illness. She was removed from her placement and told that O.H would need to assess her again yet again, (she was already being assessed regularly by O.H to their satisfaction).
She felt that she would never be judged on who she was and what she did, and that her previouse mental health problems would always be what defined how others saw her and she killed herself rather than continue to fight the predjudice.
Thankyou Emily for speaking out for all sufferers of BPD and against the stigma and lack of understanding.I wish you well in all you do and would love to read your essay if you do publish it in the future.

I'd love to read your essay. Is it available to read online?

HIGH FIVE MY FRIEND!

I was sectioned after a suicide attempt. I spoke to a few of the staff about my thoughts and feelings. When I finally saw the psychiatrist to have the section removed, she told me if I really wanted to kill myself, I should go away and do it quietly and not upset her staff! Since then I have NEVER been able to talk again =(

I just wish such had been available back as a teen, 40 plus years ago now,and starting to suffer then not understood BPD. I may have avoided all the subsequent pills, therapies which merely took the edge off things; and the general lack of any understanding from professionals or people in general; and eventually having to leave then work and not feeling up to anything more than non-routine voluntary/community activity including helping set up the local MIND centre, and service users group 20+ years ago. (I also have added trouble with so-called endegenous depression, and now chronic physical It's poss that BPD behaviour may have influenced their onset)

Whilst I have tried various therapies, it's difficult to maintain them, even apparently BPD effective ones, esp' with a Gov destroying the social sec system; though the benefits system is also as bad, with docs, Tribunals etc still coming up with the 'attention seeking' nonsense.

Emily,

I read your blog with a smile on your face, good for you for standing up to your lecturer and making him realise that BPD is in fact a condition that affects people, not just something to skip over in a slide presentation. I personally don't know much about the condition, however my brother suffered with mental health problems for over 17 years, and unfortunately passed away in February this year but just before he died the doctors said they wanted to look into this as a potential condition he may be suffering from. It would be really interesting to read your essay if you're able or want to post it.

Take good care, and really well done for being brave :-)

Hollie xx

Congratulations on quietly standing up to your professor, Emily, and showing him the internal emotions people with Borderline Personality Disorder deal with. The problem is, here in the U.S., there are estimated to be six to 24 million people suffering with this disorder -- and since the disorder is so unknown, most of these people don't know they could seek treatment for a condition that's causing a lot of pain -- to them, their partners and family members.

I had a relationshp with a man suffering from the Borderline disorder. I never knew when or why the rages would appear, or why he needed me home from work on time every night (fear of abandonment). His rages became so bad that he would blow up and just leave our home, move out.

After many on again/off again events, I was worn out and it was over. A few months later, found the symptoms of the Borderline disorder on the Inernet and finally knew what I call "the name of my pain". At the time, there was nothing to read about the disorder for laypeople, so I began to journal to myself to, keep my head clear and help with my pain.

My journal eventually turned into a book that I published -- 'Breaking Free from Boomerang Love'. The "boomerang' seemed appropriate for the life I'd lived.

Again, congratulations, Emily Good job.

Agreed. Your essay should be available so that everyone can gain an understanding of BPD from a service users perspective- that would be most useful!

Hi Emily,

I came across this post via Twitter. I was, at first, very upset by your professor's reaction, as it shows the general assumptions and responses to those of us with BPD. I wrote a letter called "An Open Letter From Those With Borderline Personality Disorder" and shared it with the world, so I can relate to wanting to convey the TRUTH about our condition to others to get them to see the full picture.

I am so proud of you and would love to see your essay. I am MORE THAN HAPPY to post it at my blog at healingfrombpd.org .... Feel free to send it to me. I think MANY other people would love to read it.

In kindness,
Debbie
HealingFromBPD.org

Well done Emily. It is fantastic to see something positive and your bravery will no doubt have a knock on effect. It would be nice to see your essay as mandatory reading for mental health professionals.

I'd be really interested to read the essay too. Will it be published anywhere?

Hi Emily.

Really good stuff! When you say experiencing BPD from the inside, is that you talking about 'acting in' as apposed to acting out?. I tend to act in (what I used to call before I was diagnosed with BPD, trying to keep it all together, until it eventually bubbles over!) I am a guy with BPD and I think men tend not to 'act out' as much. Like the other people responding to your post I would LOVE to see your essay x I have suffered with depression and anxiety,meltdowns and paranoid schizophrenia at various parts of my life. I have had trouble with holding down jobs. Having my full diagnosis now helps me cope better (couselling and DBT helped too).

If anyone can help me with what kind of work I should go for would be great (I haven't worked for 2 and half years) Mainly because I have been supporting my Mum and Dad (Mum has Altzheimers) and the emotional strain exaberbated my condition. Now she is in good care I would like to look forward to finding some suitable work.

J x

Hi Emily,

Brilliant blog, you handled discrimination from someone who should have known better, really well. I probably would have exploded and spoke out to show him up there and then in front of everyone, proving him right of course, just as you said. Very well handled!

Have you considered producing a revised version of the essay to submit for publication in a medical journal? That would get your writing of the 9 traits out to a wider audience of health care professionals, and go a long way to challenging the stigma that still exists in the NHS today.

That way you get complete ownership and mental health charities can reference the paper so we can all read it too!

I have heard people close to me describe a relative suffering from depression (not me, another woman) as attention seeking, and I see your point!

Yep would love to get to read the essay. Noreen

It's too easy to judge highly intelligent and emotionally disturbed girls and women as worthless and broken and unfixable. Look at the jimmy savile revelations. No one believes us what we have seen and been through. No doubt, all those girls were also attention seeking and manipulative. Thank god times are changing. The real manipulators in life are on our TV screens. When will people wake up. We need to listen to reason. There is always a reason a girl develops this disorder. Often, it is after years of not being believed or not listened to or heard. Stay strong BPD people. We will get the truth out. It's not our fault. Well done Emily.