Sarah's Story

Sarah talks about how she overcame her eating disorder and went on to write a book about her experiences to raise awareness about the condition.

My name is Sarah. I'm twenty four years old and this is the best year of my life so far. Healthy, happy and excited about the future. I never thought this could be me. I never thought living could be such an amazing experience.

I spent the last twenty three years of my life being a very different person.

I fought a constant battle with my body. I pushed it to the brink of death, and saved it; only just in time. My relationship with an eating disorder nearly cost me everything, until I decided I'd had enough abuse from that little voice inside my head.

Last year, a potent combination of starvation, over-exercise and self induced vomiting culminated in a six month stay in hospital. Weighing barely more than five stone I found myself doing star jumps in the bathroom, screaming at trifle and trying to run away from cheesecake. Gaining weight was more terrifying than dying.

Until eventually something deep within me started to change.

Little by little I had to fight to free myself and live. I did, and wrote a book about it.

Mariposa is the story of my recovery. It is a scrapbook of diary entries, emails, photographs, artwork, poems, stories and random bits and pieces. My account is strikingly honest and I leave no stone unturned. By presenting my message creatively I hope to reach out to more people than the eating disorder literature currently informs. Many are discouraged from seeking help due to the stigma associated with mental illness. It is difficult for people to recognise the signs of disorder in a world in which we are taught to perceive food and ourselves in a negative light.

I want to raise awareness of eating disorders and the brutal reality of a life dominated by food and weight. Ultimately, however, I want to give hope to others, that recovery is possible, and life is worth living.

Mine is a positive story; an explanation of how a shy, negative and depressed girl, terrified of growing up, blossoms into a confident, positive and colourful young woman who realises that there is more to life than she had ever imagined before.

Here is an extract from the beginning of my book:

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl called Sarah. Like lots of little girls and boys she had a little pot belly. A tummy that she proudly thrust forward in an effort to appear bigger, taller, smarter, older.
But the bad tummy wouldn't go away. In fact it grew as fast as she did. Sometimes she punished it by not feeding it. She enjoyed denying it breakfast, sometimes lunch too, and listening to it moan and growl in feeble protest. Other times she didn't care and she stuffed it with chocolate and crisps. Then it felt enormous, like a great burden to carry.


Soon the little girl was no longer so little. She was an adult, and yet her belly still worried her. What if it continued to grow even though she herself had stopped? She ran, she swam, she lifted weights in the gym. She starved, she binged, she punched it. Then she gave it less, and less, and less. Then she overfed it, and used her fist to empty it before it had even begun to comprehend what was going on.


One day that little girl, no longer so little, or so innocent, sweet and kind, saw her tummy for the first time. It was flat as a pancake, in fact it had only ever been magnified in her mind's eye. She admired it, and imagined the day when it would swell to a huge size and grow new life inside it. For that little girl learned that her tummy represented life. She needed to feed it and care for it, and most of all, love it for being a part of her.

This is the story of a little girl who lost her way.

My ebook is available on the following link:

http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1528

The paperback will be out soon!