I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2015 shortly after my mum passed away following a tough battle with cancer. When I look back, my first psychotic episode was actually in 1994. This arose following a traumatic event in my life.
I joined Time to Change movement in July 2019, which turned out to be the best decision of my life. I have been struggling with mental health for so many years and I have been receiving ongoing treatment for my anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Borderline Personality. Disorder (BPD) and depression. By sharing my experience of my diagnosis with other people, I feel that my mental health has been improving, and I feel that I am not the only one in the world who suffers.
In late 2018, I was diagnosed with bulimia. Although I was suffering for a long time before this, I was living in denial that something was genuinely wrong and I needed help. Like many young men, I was never told to talk about my problems – never mind anything about mental illness. Instead, we are told to simply get over it. Rather than talk about what is bothering us, we are told to keep it down and carry on pushing forward.
Any diagnosis of a mental disorder is frightening, but so too are those crushing depressions when you can’t function, the times when life is simply too much or when you are simply out of control. It was after my second suicide attempt that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The crushing, life draining, depressions I had noticed (obviously), but somewhere down the line I seemed to have missed the mania.