Living with a mental illness can be extremely isolating and lonely. The relationship is two-way: others may not reach out as you have been understandably distant due to feeling unwell, and you may not contact others for the same reasons. It’s a vicious cycle.
When I figured out something was wrong it was too late. It consumed me. I was so close to going through with it until someone rang and snapped me out of the way I was feeling. At the time I thought I had no one, no family or friends. I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone about my mental health.
I had already lost a close friend to suicide. I’d heard about the high suicide rates amongst men which made me think “why is there no help for men to talk about their mental health” - because at the time I didn’t know how or where to get help from.
Picture this. Your everyday. Getting home from a long hard day, something has annoyed you, you’re feeling down, some bad thoughts are circling in your head. A loved one, friend or family member asks, “How was your day?” and you, like every other day, happy or sad, and regardless of your mental state, utter “fine.” But sometimes it isn’t fine. Or even, you haven’t gotten out of bed all day, you feel like you deserved the rest but that isn’t what is keeping you there, and when someone asks if you’re feeling okay “I’m fine” seems to slip out anyway.