Leading up to the day I opened up about my mental health I had struggled with anxiety for many years. It affected me in many ways and eventually opened the door for depression to come in, which would then take hold of my life for over a year. Throughout that time trying to deal with my anxiety and depression brought with it a lot of negative habits.
I’ve lived with bipolar disorder for fifty years, but recently came to see that this was not my only mental health problem. I always knew I was a bit too much of a child, but the degree to which this affected my behaviour and people’s view of me came as a surprise. I only realized recently, as I talked with my husband, how serious my emotional problems were. People don’t usually tell you such things.
Throughout my life I have had acquaintances, people who would speak to me in class who I would have a joke or a deep conversation with, but I’ve always had very few friends. I think this is mainly down to the fact that I don't push myself in many ways and actually prefer to stay in than go out to parties – yes, I'm a granny I know, but there is something about lighting a candle and putting your slippers on! I’ve struggled to fit in or be accepted by others.
I’ve struggled with mental health problems for 4 years now. I started my first year at college, being that independent person my parents always wanted me to be, but then everything just came tumbling down. My family and I all went through a very traumatic time and that’s where it all began.