Just before Christmas this year I began to have thoughts that weren't entirely to my liking. I put it down to the usual feelings I get around that time. They'll pass.
Christmas came around, the thoughts were getting worse. The nagging thought that something isn't right. I was deeply unhappy. It was only Christmas Day afternoon that I found myself at peace. As a family we were all enjoying time together.
I’m no stranger to talking really. In 2014 I went to my first Gamblers Anonymous session and poured my heart out to total strangers. Professionally I can stand in front of 500 people and do a half-hour presentation. I can walk into a pub and introduce myself to absolutely anybody - as long as I am not talking about my mental state.
I was just about to start my new job and I was really excited, but at the same time terrified. A few weeks prior to this I had been given a diagnosis of EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). I had done this job before for different companies but I always had a wobbly moment or two whilst I did it and it would usually end up with me having a moment of bursting out into to tears in front of my manager.
People are scared of the terms ‘mental health problems’ and ‘mental illness.’ It makes many uncomfortable; turn their heads, look at their shoes, anything. Things are changing, but not soon, or fast enough.