Don't Get Me Wrong - Erik on the airwaves
I was in the radio studios again yesterday talking about our new campaign, which aims to show how stigma and discrimination affects people in everyday life. And I was privileged to have the opportunity to work with our new Time to Change pin-up boy, Erik, the star of the latest burst of our campaign. Ruby Wax calls herself the 'poster girl for depression' having featured in our campaign last year, so I think it only fair we call Erik our pin-up boy!
Erik and six other fantastic volunteers have taken part in our new social experiment, posting their profiles on dating and flatshare websites to see how responses differ when they disclosed their mental health problem, compared to when they kept it quiet. Sadly the results don't make for encouraging reading - overall the volunteers received 50% fewer responses on dating sites and 68% fewer on flatshare sites when they added just one little line: "I have a mental health problem."
I've been talking about these results on the radio along with Erik, Chris and Nina, hoping they'll encourage people to think about their own attitudes and realise that it's the assumptions we make about people with mental health problems that hurt the most.
Erik, who was in the radio studios with me, talks eloquently and movingly about how stigma affects him. He may have had a negative response when disclosing his mental health problems on the dating and flatshare sites, but the responses to him speaking out today and in our documentary about the social experiment have been amazing.
He faced some difficult questions in the studios, but has more than done us proud with his answers. When asked whether people who haven't experienced depression themselves can really be expected to understand what it's like, he responded that as a man, he doesn't have to go through childbirth himself to be able to understand what a painful experience it is and empathise. A great line.
Our other volunteers Chris, Nina, Bonnae, Vikkie, Danielle and Tom have also been incredible, literally putting themselves on the line online to show not only how harmful stigma can be, but also, today, the power of people speaking out. I hope that after hearing Erik and the others talking today, people will be less quick to judge and more willing to give people with mental health problems a chance.
Watch Erik in our documentary, 'Don't Get Me Wrong'.
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I think Erik would have had a
I think Erik would have had a lot less discrimation if he had said "depression" instead of "mental health problems". That is like saying "I have problems" - I think he would have had the same response if he had said "health problems" - it's an unknown quantity so people can't relate to it, and can't be bothered to find out what. And you are using the word "problems" - so that is already a negative slant. Also, I think the potential flatmates/dates might have felt Erik could need a lot of attention, or maybe they felt vulnerable themselves already. I think depression in particular is losing some of its stigma already; people know it's quite common and have often known a friend or family member who's had depression, and people have some understanding about it. So they may have been more accomodating.
I have to say that I would personally not want to live with someone else recovering from depression - still suffering depression and anxiety myself I would find it difficult not to get embroiled in their stresses too; it would be a bad combination. You don't know what others are going through themselves - they are not necessarily just backing off from the situation because of stigma. The girl who was honest about her former partner with mental illness would understandably be wary - she would know what's it's like and know her reaction to it - it may have been a very distressing time in her life that she is still healing from? you can't blame her for that.
I have suffered discrimination by being sacked from a job because of my mental health. Yes, I'm upset by it; yes, it wasn't fair treatment. I scratch it down to experience. Some people just don't understand mental illness - they don't have experience of it, or they don't know what to do for the best. I am always very open about my panic and depression with my friends (a little less so about the PSTD with people I don't know very well) but there still is a lot of stigma, and until I am really better I don't think it serves me to mention it in a professional environment (eg. work). I don't want it following me around and its reputation going before me. Sometimes I just say I don't have the transport. It's easier for people to understand than "I can't physically get there" because of agoraphobia. Can't be bothered to explain it over and over. And I don't really want the sympathy either, thank you. I'm doing just fine on the whole. The rest will come in time.
Erik
It's not just stranger who turn their nose up at a person with mental health problems.
I fell out with a friend and she said some awful things amongst those things she said 'you are an f'ing loon' regarding the fact I had seen a psychiatrist, self harmed and been on medication most of my life. She herself has suffered ill mental health and her father suffered schizophrenia and committed suicide. How can she say that? How awful. Sadly the only way to change peoples minds is for them to experience mental health issues first hand. But it didn't change this friend.
Needless to say I'm glad she is not my friend anymore! And if I were Erik I would be glad that someone who wasn't up to dealing with a mental illness wasn't up for dating or living with me! It's stressfull enough as it is!!
Don't Get Me Wrong -film
I am a sufferer of mental health problems having previously suffered from depression and currently manage a number of anxiety disorders. I have also worked with people suffering mild/moderate anxiety and depression.
Having watched the short introduction film 'Don't get me Wrong' about Erik I felt that it was very misleading and the total opposite of what I thought the Time to Change campaign is about, helping people to understand.
It is my belief that to help with discrimination people need information and education. In your film Erik told his potential girlfriends and flat mates only that he had a mental health problem that required medication. If Erik had given a little more information about his problems/symptoms regarding whether it was depression, anxiety or a more severe condition and how it affected him on a daily basis then I'm sure he would have had a different result.
Your film was indicating that most people were discriminating against Erik. I disagree. I think most people are naive to what constitutes a mental health problem and do not want to ask about such a sensitive subject, therefore they retreat.
If we stop labeling ourselves and others as just mental health sufferers and tell people exactly what the symptoms/problems are I'm sure we would have a very different reaction. (In fact I know we would having been there myself).
erik
Totally agree Kevin!
Most people lead stressful lives and are naive about mental health issues if they haven't experienced it first hand. Why would you want to put yourself in that situation?
Most people who get to know me first then find out about my mental health problems usually feel bad that I suffer or confess that they have suffered too!
I am open and honest about my illness when I'm confident people will be receptive to it. Then they see me first then my illness not the other way around.
Finding out about a person first allows you to make your mind up whether you can accept what comes with that person. They don't know Erik from Adam and have no emotional connection with that person so would not think twice about responding negatively about the flat or dates. At least they let him down gently and didin't verbally abuse him