Talking about psychosis: standing up for mental health
Peter kept on talking to his son, even when Ross was seriously unwell.
Ross' story
One of my passions before I experienced psychosis was stand up comedy, and I even did a few stand-up gigs while I was in the thrall of psychosis itself. When I was well on my way to recovery I decided that I would really like to get back into stand-up comedy. My dad saw this as an opportunity to create some bonding between us and so he read up on comedy himself. And for a while we were like partners in crime, learning the trade of stand-up together and sharing ideas and lines and sketches and seeing which ones were actually funny.
He encouraged me to talk about my mental health problems as subject material for the stand-up as a therapeutic device. And I think that in a strange way it really did help. Not only did it give me a way to make fun of my strange experiences, so that they had less power over me, but it also gave me a way to make others laugh with me and for me to be able to laugh at myself, which certainly made the depression I was going through at the time a bit more bearable.
I took to the stage at the end of a 10-week course in stand-up I’d taken and people actually laughed! My parents and brother were there to support me and it was a jolly good night, full of laughter and joy.
I think that was when my Dad had the idea that he would pursue the idea of stand-up further and so our joint quest continued for a little while longer. I eventually gave up the idea of a career in the profession but not without gaining a lot of confidence and having some great times both writing and performing the skits for my course attendants and my family, friends and girlfriend at the time.
Peter's story
"I gave my wife a vasectomy for Christmas..." (True!).
That was the first line of my first stand-up gig in a pub in Eton. I was there because Ross had completed a comedy course in London as part of his self-inflicted rehab process. I love comedy and spent hours talking with Ross about the technicalities and processes.
It’s just so good to talk about things that have nothing to do with depression or psychological states or mental health. It could be anything, just normal stuff, on a walk or down the pub, just relaxing and enjoying the company of my son.
But then he and his brother Owen dared me to give it a go - “You think you’re funny, dad...”So I did (put it down to an attack of the “personal developments!”). I wrote a script, performed – and enjoyed the evening. Afterwards, they implied that I hadn’t actually been totally embarrassing - which I took as quite a compliment from sons... Unfortunately, they videoed it.
Ross also went on that evening. When I watched him on show, the very “publicness” of it made me feel as though the pawl had just dropped over the next tooth in a ratchet that was tightening his grip on sanity. I bought everyone a drink to celebrate.
See Time to Change's own stand-up video
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The Mask I Wear
Ok, lot of things I've read have helped me here, to know I'm not overly alone in the world is a wonderful thing. I suffer with Bipolar Type 1 with psychosis and its been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Imagine as a child you hear voices, hear sounds or even feel things that others can't, then build up the courage to tell you parents. Only when you do you happen to walk into the room and see them watching a program about a guy who murdered a bunch of people because voices told him to do it. Yep, didn't tell tell them in the end and that negative stereotype stayed with me for many years.
Things are different now, I opened up, my family know, my friends know and most of all my wife knows and supports me constantly. The thing, the truth of the matter is I find it hard to communicate, how do I tell people that I hear this or my mind is thinking that, when most of the time its either disturbing or insulting to me or them. So I got into a bad habit, something that harkens back to that childhood moment, I created a persona, a mask, something that people see and know. That mask became so convincing that even I believed I was the person it portrayed. The thing, I'm not that person, and I so desperately want to show people who I really am.
son mental illness for 12 years
my son has schizophrenia we have been to hell and back he was diagnosed at the age of 16 he is 29 now and living independently i found after years of doing my best to find a hobby to do eg cooking ,swimming ,going out for lunch with a friend ;think positive helps you cope with caring for some one with mental illness
schizophrenia
my son also has schizophrenia and was diagnosed at the age of 15 he is now 29 and has been in hospital for the last 5 years i some times wonder will he ever get out of hospital although he is getting better slowly all i can do is live in hope.
Prisoner in my home
Not really sure where to start I have a child but don't go out the house haven't in about 2 years now, my doctors are putting it down to depression and just given me some pills saying they help with anxiety, I do get alot of panic attacks and it's becoming more and more, I was never like this feels like my whole world is falling apart, am not sure were to turn to next, any help would be useful, I just want to live a normal life with my family!!
Prisoner of home and mind
Hi Beck so sorry to hear about your probs and I can truly understand how you are feeling, I haven't been out alone for many many years. I can't really help you but just want you to know your definitely not alone , don't ever give up trying and please talk , never try and keep things in it makes things so much worse for yourself , good luck for the future and always remember your not alone. Kind regards Marie (prisoner of my mind.
My Psychosis
Ive had a Psychotic Illness for many years now, first beginning in my middle teen years. Im now 51yo and have been on medication for nearly 20 yrs.. At that time I didnt know who to talk to and only had the medical services to contend with, as thats all I knew of who to contact. I think things are a lot different these days with more talking therapies available. I would recommend anyone experiencing mental health problems to contact these services as I feel they are invaluable for the recovery process to begin. At the moment I am well and have been for some time now, but when I have had minor relapses Ive always felt that talking to people does help in a big way.
Schizophrenia
An uneventful boy-hood and some Academic achievements saw me through tertiary education, which I completed in 1972. The occurrence of diagnosable symptoms appeared in what came to be my final year, but my course work merited the award of a BA Honours in Combined Humanities(aegrotat).
I was 21 years old.
The slur cast by the nature of my diagnosis ensured that there were no opportunities to sit for any professional qualifications, so my vocation of Librarian remained on hold to this day. Five years passed without Library employment in any capacity, five years punctuated with a break-down, four months’ hospitalisation and continuing treatment for schizophrenia, until Employment resettlement pointed me in the direction of a Library Supplier sweat-shop in Bellingham, and remaned there full-time for fifteen years. At no stage did the financial rewards for this engagement creep up above my entitlements as a disabled person!
My Liberation was palpable and it is something I can never regret. Creativity had returned after a dormancy of some 21 years. I returned to writing and belatedly, to an interest I had shared with my Father in my teen-age years, Photography.
For many, schizophrenia is a life-sentence but the redeeming quality of any predicament is that some good can come out of it .
The TTC Arbitrations on here are umbelievably tedious. No wonder no one blogs.
mental health
my (now ex) husband suffers from severe depression, delusions and psychotic behaviour most of which was directed at me. 6 years after his first really bad 'episode' he still doesn't want to admit that he is ill and despite an ttempted suicide and trips to doctors and psychiatrists still thinks is thinsg that I do to him that makes him like he is. The biggest problem is not lack of help from the medical profession but the fact that they don't want help or won't accept they are ill there is nothing anyone can do. I had no option for the sake of my health and my childrens was to divorce. His own sons and family were no help at all and have disowned him and even though we are divorced it is still me and my daughters who support him. I am currently trying to help him get a job and get friends but it is a constant struggle.
I am sorry to hear what you
I am sorry to hear what you have gone threw and are going threw but I can completely understand as I am going threw a similar thing. My now ex partner had the same illness and everything was taken out on me as he used to believe everyone was against him and that he couldnt trust anybody including me. I am only 24 and to go threw this experiance was horrible and is a struggle as I feel it has caused me a little bit of depression as i havent had anyone to talk to about any of this I have just kept it hidden inside, I lost my job and nearly my family as I couldnt explain to them what was happening, I have been lucky enough to get a 2nd chance at my work after a year now and things are slowly getting better. I have tried to be supportive and be there but I couldnt take anymore as it all became to much and it makes me feel like such a terrible person to have let go and leave but i didnt know what else to do, and for you to still be supportive and be there for your ex husband you are very strong and an inspirational women.
TV ad tonight
I just saw the ad on TV for this site and came straight here. A close member of my family had a serious mental illness in their teens and there was nowhere for the family to go for support and help. I don’t mean to be critical but the local Rethink group was filled with what seemed like very elderly people who met frequently and it had turned into a kind of coffee morning. Anyone new arriving for support (us) didn’t feel we belonged there. We only went once. This was 15 years ago and mental illness was scary and definitely had a stigma attached. It feels like this is changing thankfully. We were frightened and ignorant of what was happening and there was nowhere we could go for help or support. Our GP was the only one we could talk to and he only had 10minutes maximum whenever we went. We honestly felt it was a lifelong sentence but it wasn’t. After around 3 years of psychiatric hospitals and hell she eventually recovered and is rebuilding her life without medication. The scars may always be there but with family support and counselling and things in life to aim towards and people to care it can be conquered and lived with.
Prisoner of my mind
Its ok having new ads on tv but it's a complete waste of time if you just get pushed from dept to dept and you just feel like yet again you've wasted your loved ones time. I suffer with bipolar and agoraphobia , I have to rely on my family to take me out , I've been waiting for social services to help me get help on getting out but now I've just been told that they no longer deal with mental health issues so now I have to wait til I see my psychiatrist in 3months prob for her to send me somewhere else, I'm so fed up with being me ,!,,,!!!
Prisoner of my mind
Hey Marie
I can hear the frustration and upset in the tone of your post. I thought I would message you as there are some similarities in our symptoms. I have to say that after that horrid, long wait to see a psychiatrist (which was also around 3 months) I really can say that the treatment / therapy / whatever you want to call it, helped immensely. I was offered psychotherapy with a wonderful lady who I saw weekly or twice-monthly. I used to look forward to going each time as I knew it was helping. My psychiatrist made changed to my medication which were closely monitored and checked. The concerted effort from the entire team made me WANT to live and make the baby-steps I needed to take.
I wish you all the very best. Please take some comfort in a higher level of care than you have received previously. It does seem that the urgency is not there initially but please try to be reassured? In the meantime, if you need immediate help and support there are NHS phone-lines (Panic Lines - I call them) for when it's all getting too much to handle on your own. Mind are also great.
Hang in there and all the best. Rebecca X
Prisoner of my mind
Thankyou so much Rebecca for your kind words they mean a lot. Would be lovely if all people were caring and sincere like you. I'm now waiting for a psychiatric nurse but been told that there is a long waiting list as there's not enough nurses ! Yet again our fantastic NHS, I was on lithium for a long time but ended up with severe toxic shock and dehydration due to lack of check ups at my old gp. I had to have dialysis and lost a month of my life. Hopefully one day I will get sorted . Thankyou again Marie
Hi Marie, I'm sorry to hear
Hi Marie, I'm sorry to hear you've been going through a tough time. The 2 charities that run our campaign, Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, both run excellent info and advice lines. If you get in touch with them they will be able to offer practical advice and may be able to highlight sources of support in your local area. You can find their contact details here:
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines
http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_advice_information/index.html
Kind regards,
Ed
Time to Change
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