February 16, 2009

With the report on “The World without the Fantastic Five" being published I wonder how events in history might have unravelled slightly differently given today's attitudes:

The scene is Buckingham Palace, 10th May 1940, King George VI has summoned Winston Churchill...The King: Mr Churchill

Churchill: Your Majeshty (sic)

The King: These are grave times

Churchill: Yesh indeed (sic)

The King: I need to form a government of national unity and I need a strong man to lead it

Churchill pulls himself up to his full 5'7" and puffs out his ample chest

The King: Can you think of anyone?

Churchill: Well..yesh one name doesh shuggesht itshelf..(sic)


The King: Well yes, but I am constitutionally disbarred from entering government, besides you know I have this terrible st st st st stammer

Churchill: Yesh well I have one myshelf but there is perhapsh another....

The King: Really, I can't th th th think of anyone and I really thought you might have some ideas..

Churchill straightens his bow tie, clutches his lapels, puffs out his ample chest farther than ever before and clears his throat.

The King: You don't mean...? Are you suggesting..? You are aren't you?

Churchill: I think scho (sic)

The King: Well Mr Churchill, it's very kind of you to offer, I mean I do appreciate it, I mean really. But I mean...

Churchill: Your majeshty?

The King: Well.it's your thing.

Churchill: My thing your majeshty..which particular thing?

The King: Your dog

Churchill: My poodle Rufus? I don't understand?
The King: No, No, your Black Dog?

Churchill: Yes a black poodle called Rufus?

The King: No, your other dog, the Big Black Dog

Churchill: You're Majeshty I hope you are not referring to my depression?

The King: Well...Yes

Churchill: Is thish a problem

The King: Well we can't have you taking sick leave when you should be attending conferences or meetings, no spending days on end in bed whilst Mr Hitler is marching through Europe.

Churchill: I can assure you Majeshty, I am as fit as any man alive to fight Mr Hitler, Black Dog or no Black Dog!!!!

The King: Well..I have some other candidates to see but I will let you know by the end of the week.

Churchill: Sir.

Churchill exits and the Kings equerry enters. The King turns to address him

The King: Just as I thought, mad as March hare, I think we better send for that chap Moseley after all. Stout fellow!

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