Helping Teens & Young Adults

Key takeaways

• Adolescence involves biological, psychological, and social changes, which contribute to high levels of mental and emotional distress among young people

• Parents and other adults need to be alert to the signs that a young person might be struggling with their mental health

• Open, honest, respectful conversations are the first step to helping a teen or young adult who is experiencing mental health difficulties

Supporting teens and young adults with mental health

Young people want to explore their growing independence and self-reliance, and it’s essential that they’re able to do so. Unfortunately, they can easily find themselves in situations they don’t have the experience or resources to cope with.

Supporting young people with their mental health requires balancing respect for their autonomy with protecting them from things they’re not yet able to handle. It’s a difficult equilibrium to maintain for adults, especially when they see teens and young adults in distress.

How common are mental health issues in people under 18?

Mental health problems are widespread in young people. 40% of high school students have persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, and 9% have attempted suicide.^[1] Within the US, HHS estimates that almost half of adolescents will experience a mental health disorder in their lives.^[2]

Specific mental health challenges faced by young people

The challenges faced by young people are often different from those faced by adults and may also be different from those faced by previous generations during their teens.

Brain development

The brain regions associated with cognitive reasoning and impulse control are some of the last to fully mature. Adolescents are experiencing a period of rapid brain development (known as synaptic pruning), in which they develop their intellectual, emotional, and problem-solving abilities.

Synaptic pruning isn’t random. Just like other forms of learning and development, connections that are used regularly are strengthened, while those that are used rarely are more likely to be removed. Adolescents need to experience gradually increasing freedoms and responsibilities of adulthood to support this process.

Throughout adolescence, however, changes in brain structure can cause intense emotions that young people don’t understand, encourage impulsive choices that cause harm to themselves or others, and complicate the transition to adulthood.

Additionally, this synaptic pruning can sometimes go wrong, possibly contributing to mental health disorders such as schizophrenia. This may explain why so many disorders first appear during this period.^[3]

Social pressures

Adolescents and young adults are experiencing a vital transition, where their primary social network moves away from their family and becomes their peers. Their family still matters, but they are becoming more self-sufficient and independent.

Social relationships with their peers matter more to young people during this time than at almost any other point in their lives. This is a double-edged sword. Their peers have a better understanding of their challenges, but those peers are also not yet adults and are equally likely to make poor decisions and handle problems badly.

Young people also contribute to their own social networks, meaning that they are often influencing and supporting their peers as well as being influenced. Worrying about friends who are experiencing mental health difficulties can be a huge burden for young people.

The need to fit in and be socially accepted is linked to disorders, such as eating disorders and substance misuse, as well as anti-social behaviour and risk-taking. Young people who struggle to fit in can feel isolated and may turn to self-harm.

Academic pressure

Parents and teachers have to strike a difficult balance between wanting to encourage young people to focus on academics without putting them under too much pressure. Young people’s brain development can steer them towards all-or-nothing thinking, making each exam feel potentially life-altering. This problem affects high-achieving students as well as those struggling at school.

Academic pressure can exacerbate

• Perfectionism

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Feelings of inadequacy

• Isolation

• Low self-esteem

Online factors

The internet helps young people to learn about the world and connect with others as they form communities. Unfortunately, it can also do incredible harm. Young people learn about the world, including their values, rules for acceptable behavior, and relationships, from what they see around them. This includes what they see online.

The rise of more extreme, violent, and sexual content online is a source of real concern. If young people learn about sexual behavior, relationships, and values from some of these online sources, they can develop unrealistic and harmful expectations.

Uncritical watching of extreme online content contributes to

• Radicalization

• Violent behavior

• Vulnerability to abuse

Vulnerability and abuse

Teens and young adults are particularly vulnerable to abuse, both from their peers and from predatory adults. This abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, and financial. Young people who experience abuse can suffer from long-term trauma and mental health issues. Many factors contribute to young people’s vulnerability.

We’ve already mentioned that young people’s brains are still developing. During adolescence, people have powerful emotions that can be manipulated by abusive techniques such as love-bombing or creating feelings of shame. Young people are also more likely to act based on their emotions, rather than stepping back to think. Again, this partially stems from their brain development, but it leads to increased risk-taking.

Young people are also learning to assert their independence and take on more adult roles. This is normal and healthy, but it comes with risks. As they take more responsibility for their lives, they are exposed to more situations in which things can go wrong. For example, a young person who is managing their own money for the first time can easily get into debt. This can make them vulnerable to predatory lenders or loan sharks.

When young people try to handle ‘adult’ problems such as abuse, they’re often hindered by not knowing where to turn for support. Many older people also dismiss or downplay the experiences of adolescents, making it harder for them to find support even when they reach out. This can reinforce the perception that they need to handle problems alone, leaving them without the support they need.

Older adults can often recognise abuse by comparing it with healthy relationships or interactions they’ve had in the past, but even with this advantage, many find themselves in abusive situations. Adolescents typically lack experience with healthy relationships, which makes it even harder to understand the difference between healthy relationships and abuse. Abusers take advantage of this inexperience, telling young people that their behavior is normal.

Common types of abusive behavior that adolescents may be vulnerable to include

• Gaslighting

• Social restriction and isolation

• Coercive control

• Negging

• Cold shouldering

• Revenge porn

• Blackmail

• Grooming

• Being made to transport drugs

• Being made ashamed of their appearance

• Sexual abuse

• Social media abuse

Social media can sometimes protect young people, giving them information on abusive behavior and providing support. It can also be used harmfully, with abusers able to contact victims 24/7 and humiliate them publicly.

All young people are vulnerable to abuse, irrespective of their ethnicity, sex, gender identity, sexuality, or family background. Some groups are more vulnerable, however. They include

• Care leavers

• Those who experienced traumatic events as younger children

• Those with learning disabilities

• Deaf or disabled young people

• Those whose parents abused substances

• LGBTQIA+ young people

Young men may also find it disproportionately difficult to seek help, sometimes being told to “man up”. Social media aimed at this group can be especially harmful to their mental health and social development.

How to help

Know what to look out for

The first signs that a young person is struggling emotionally can be subtle. Look out for changes in their behavior, including

• Social withdrawal, especially if associated with anxiety

• Decreased self-esteem

• Talking about self-harm or suicide

• Substance use

• Loss of interest in hobbies

Approach conversations in the right way

Your first step to helping a young person you’re worried about is to open a conversation with them. These conversations can be uncomfortable, but they are necessary.

Here are some hints for having good conversations about mental health

• Listen more than you talk. Use open questions and try to understand their experience without judgment. Avoid making assumptions based on your teenage experiences.

• Respect them. Avoid pressuring a young person into talking about their mental health. Approach the conversation with as much respect as you would if they were another adult. Validate their feelings and never punish them for talking about how they feel.

• Keep conversations little and often. Don’t try to cover everything in one conversation. Build trust by accepting their boundaries and not promising more than you can provide.

• Help them help themselves. Encourage them to recognize their strengths and work with them to solve problems. Offer to find additional support for them if they need it.

• Recognize that they are changing. A young person is moving into a new role. Avoid bringing up events or behaviors from a year or more ago, as their circumstances may have changed radically over that time.

• Don’t avoid asking about suicide or self-harm. Research shows that allowing people to talk about suicidal feelings reduces the chance that they’ll act on those feelings.^[4] Take what they say seriously, without panic.

Try to be a role model for young people. Talk about struggles you’ve faced, behave with integrity and honesty, treat others with empathy and respect, and demonstrate good boundaries and self-control. Real-life role models show young people how to deal effectively with the world and counteract toxic online content.

Helping your child

Parents have the most important role when it comes to their children’s mental health. Here are some things you can do to help your teen build resilience and support them with mental health struggles

From an early age

• Have conversations about mental health and wellbeing regularly.

• Take your child’s feelings seriously.

• Keep track of their online activities in an age-appropriate way.

• Explore media literacy together.

• Build healthy habits around exercise, food, and socializing.

During their teenage years, you can build resilience by

• Supporting their friendships and social connections.

• Help them set appropriate boundaries.

• Showing that you are willing to listen to their needs and keep your cool.

If your child shows signs of mental health problems

• Talk to them about their experiences.

• Help them find a mental health professional they feel comfortable with.

• Provide them with any medication they have been given and ensure they take it as prescribed. Do not allow them to stop taking medications such as antidepressants without the supervision of a doctor. This can be extremely dangerous, physically and emotionally.

• Avoid assigning blame. Even blaming yourself can place more pressure on your child.

Be careful if your child tells you about serious problems they experience, especially around sexual behavior or abuse. Overreacting can destroy trust and make it harder for them to share again. Underreacting can be just as harmful because it sends the message that what they experienced was normal or acceptable. Focus on your child and their needs during the conversation, and seek help and support for your feelings afterwards.

Helping a student

Teachers and coaches have less contact with each child than their parents, but they also have more experience and understanding about what is normal for young people at that age.

Educators can support mental health in students by

• Not tolerating bullying.

• Being aware of the full range of pressures young people are under.

• Talking about the social, cultural, and wider issues in your community.

• Watching for signs that a young person is struggling.

• Making space for conversations about mental health.

If you notice that a young person might be struggling with their mental health

• Let them know that you’re willing to talk.

• Explain any rules about confidentiality and disclosure before having a conversation.

• Avoid making assumptions about their home environment.

• Discuss whether they can talk to their parents or another responsible adult.

• Offer reassurance.

• Direct them to additional resources where necessary.

Acting as a concerned adult

Parents and teachers aren’t the only adults who can play an important role in an adolescent’s or young adult’s life. Any trusted adult can be a source of support to help sustain their mental health. You may find yourself in a difficult position, pulled between the expectations of the parents and the needs of the young person.

Be transparent to the young person about what you will and won’t do. Putting boundaries in place, such as setting limits to when you are available or topics you won’t talk about without notifying their parents, builds trust and protects you both.

Community support

Helping individual children and young people is important, but there are also structural social problems that need to be addressed for them to grow up with good mental health and resilience. Everyone in the community can contribute to creating a healthy environment for children and young people.

Ways to help build up your community include:

• Volunteering to help with youth projects or activities.

• Providing mentoring, especially if you have any specialist skills to offer.

• Donating to community resources such as youth centres or clubs.

• Considering how to make important spaces more accessible to adolescents and young adults.

• Campaigning to protect youth spaces from budget cuts.

Further resources

If you’re worried about a teen or young adult, you need accurate information and support. This might include information about mental health diagnoses, advice on where to seek treatment, and suggestions for how to protect your wellbeing to help you be there for them.

Reputable organizations you can turn to for help include

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

• American Psychiatric Association (APA)

• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)

• Mental Health America