Please note that this blog discusses suicidal feelings.
Many people cringe at the phrases, ‘emotionally unstable personality disorder’ and, ‘borderline personality disorder’. They don’t sound particularly inviting. People hide away from it or stigmatise it because they don’t understand what it is like to experience it. My name is Leanne and I have borderline personality disorder and to say my journey has been a rollercoaster is an understatement.
Having suffered various degrees of depression over the years I find myself at the age of 51 doggedly fighting what is the most profound and desperate black time I have encountered. I continue to function - at work, at home, and socially – but I am dogged by suicidal thoughts on a daily basis and have had some difficult nights where these thoughts have laid siege.
As part of my job, I would encounter mental illness every time I went to work. I loved my job as a mental health nurse as I got to work with very vulnerable people and aid them in starting their recovery journey. I'd had my own mental health issues in the past and had spent the last 4 years on antidepressant medication to help with my low moods. I remained on antidepressants throughout my pregnancy to help stabilise my moods alongside my turbulent hormone levels. I wasn't fazed by it as I thought, as a mental health nurse, I could handle it.
