January 30, 2012

Photo of blue sky

Speaking out about mental illness and my experiences is hard! I’ve just found how difficult it is to speak out while writing this blog. I have had four psychotic episodes over the past ten years and have experienced depression and anxiety. I have worked pretty much the whole time in different workplaces and contexts.

I have found that experiences at work often really depend upon your line manager and the relationship you have with them. I currently work at a London university and really enjoy my job. I’ve been honest with my line manager about my experiences and she has been extremely supportive and understanding. I had two psychotic episodes last year and she gave me space and support at a time when I was vulnerable.

Having a good relationship with your line manager is not always as easy as all that! I’ve had a lot of different experiences along the way, not all good. I have experienced stigma and on one occasion fear from an employer. This is where the difficulty of speaking out comes in. I found, when writing about it, that I didn’t want to go into detail about it. Why? Because the situation was between me and the line manager, there were others in that work place whom I got on very well with, I don’t want to write negatively about it now.

When I was writing about it, I started blaming myself and that is a real problem with mental illness. It’s all too easy to feel it’s your fault that a job isn’t working out. It often feels like you’re the one with the problem. When actually the problem is your employer not knowing enough about managing someone who has experienced mental illness. In order for those of us who have experienced mental illness to be supported in the workplace there needs to be training and information available in order to promote greater understanding from employers. I have found the best type of relationship with your line manager is based on trust and understanding. I’ve been very lucky to experience this from my current line manager, and others. But in these cases it relied upon their own personality and natural affinity with people. This isn’t enough. Line managers need to have more information in order to manage people who have had mental health experiences well.

There also needs to be an atmosphere in which the employee can feel able to ask for reasonable adjustments. Legally this is the right of those with a disability, but in reality I’ve found they are incredibly difficult to ask for. You feel you should be able to just ‘get on’ with your job and often at work there is an atmosphere perpetuating this feeling.

At my current work I have a card system whereby if I'm feeling anxious and over stressed I put out a card to signal this to the team, so I can get on with things quietly. If I need to take a break because of the stress I put out another card. It's a way of communicating without having to find the words to explain and it works really well. I actually find I don't use it much because just knowing the means of communication is there is a confidence boost. So reasonable adjustments don't have to be big or taxing for either the employer or employee.

For me, I’ve found that if I’m honest about my experiences with my line manager at the beginning of a relationship, that has paved the way for a deepening of the relationship and for trust to be established. I don’t mean I’ve gone into huge detail about my experiences. But I’ve mentioned the word ‘psychotic episodes’ and said ‘it sounds scary but isn’t, I manage it.’ Then I’ve got on with my job. It can also be helpful if your line manager feels confident enough to let you just get on with things. There’s nothing worse than feeling you’re being watched all the time, or assessed. I’ve found it can really break your confidence and affect your ability to do your job well.

I have experienced stigma at work in the past, which really affected me and my confidence. However, I continued to work, and found a job that gave me a better work-life balance with a great team who are supportive. It really is possible to find supportive work. But this shouldn’t rely upon the understanding nature of some people’s personalities. All line managers should be made aware of their responsibilities and of the legal rights of employees with regard to reasonable adjustments. And they should be encouraged to listen to and trust their employees.

People want to be able to do a good job. Let’s encourage a working environment that allows that to happen.


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The image was sourced from dcarrero's Flickr account under a Creative Commons 2.0 License.

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Too many people are made to feel ashamed. By sharing your story, you can help spread knowledge and perspective about mental illness that could change the way people think about it.


a manager's perspective

<P>hi - thank you for this - i found it really useful. I manage someone who is bipolar, and I agree manager's need to know what's the best way to support someone. The person I manage is just so great, everyone she works with loves her and she's great at her job. What was really helpful was that from the outset she was honest, and as you said that created an atmosphere of trust. Sometimes I don;'t know what the best way to support an employee with this condition is, so I just ask her 'what would be helpful'?. But I'd love to know any thoughts of what I could do. What saddens me is that at her lowest she apologises and chastises herself, I can see why she does but I just want her to know that there is definitely no need. She's such a great person that I'd rather have this person working here than anyone else, no matter if they might need a bit of extra support, it's a learning experience for them and for me where we can both grow as people in an atmosphere of support and compassion, I hope.</P>

Thank you for this insight.

Thank you for this insight. My 21 yo son went through this. He left when we were not watching him. He was delusional and drove 1000 miles away where search and rescue found his abandoned car. They found him very delusional, camping in a tent, with no clothes on, cold, hungry, and alone in the mountains. I want to visit him so bad, but I call him every day. We are going to go get him and his car next week. Before this happened he was going to the U of U, working full time, hanging out with friends. This is the hardest thing we have ever been through. Thank you for your openness. We are not ashamed of our son one bit. Actually proud he didn't hurt himself worse, or hurt others. He is in a hospital getting meds and the help he needs. I had no idea this happens. Thank you again.

To Jodi

Hi Jodi, I'm so sorry your son has been ill. I know from my own family what an impact getting ill has on everyone, and how scary it is as it's not something you ever think will happen, as you say. You sound amazing and please know that your love will help your son get through it. Family will mean that your son can pull through. Thinking of you and your son, hoping you can see him very soon, and sending every best wish for his recovery. At 21 there is so very much he can do. I really hope this experience - and seeing how much love you have for him - means that you can all draw towards one another. I notice your post was written a few days ago (I was sent it by Time to Change yesterday), I really hope that perhaps now, you are holding your son and that you can all be warm together xx

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