November 14, 2014

The number of times people said to me, “Come on, you have everything, you have nothing to be sad about just cheer up!” or “what happened to make you upset?” These questions are seemingly innocent but they hurt when you can’t answer them. That’s the issue with mental health stigma, it is born of people not understanding, therefore without more understanding the stigma will never be broken.

Some people I have talked to still do not believe that depression is serious

Some people I have talked to still do not believe that depression is serious and can be debilitating, when someone says something like this it hurts but I try to explain to them what it’s like and this is what I am going to try to explain here.

I went from a good student, attendance was near perfect, obtaining good grades on every coursework and exam. Then depression hit, I barely got out of bed to eat or have a shower let alone going to lectures, blasting music into my ears in an attempt to blot out the voices in my head, the ones saying “you're useless, you’re worthless, you're never good enough, you're just not enough”.

It just slowly crept up on me

Another thing with depression is, in my case at least, it was not on its own. Anxiety joined it, the constant nagging feeling in depression, it hit me out of the blue or seemingly so. I am a second year university student, achieving great grades, have a loving family and had a girlfriend, and so what went wrong you may ask? I don’t know why I am like this, if I knew I would change it in a blink of an eye. Looking back I can’t see anything that caused this episode. It just slowly crept up on me getting slowly worse and worse until a crash came when my girlfriend left me.

Your stomach. Petrified of something, but you don’t even know what you’re scared of.

People still find it difficult to understand

People still find it difficult to understand - a few times I have tried to explain why I am like this, only to have people say “that’s nothing to be upset about, there are people so much worse off than you”. I respond to this statement simply, by saying that,: everyone has limits, some people are more predisposed genetically to struggling in times of hardship that others would just take with a pinch of salt. Depression is a very personal illness, each and every person that struggles with it struggles in their own way and that makes you feel alone. If you're reading this and struggling with any mental illness, you are not alone and please don’t keep things to yourself, try to talk about it. The only way we can break stigma is by communicating to those who don’t understand, because stigma is caused by misunderstanding. 

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Comments

This is the first blog I have

This is the first blog I have read about depression, but you describe it so well. It does just come from nowhere, and unless people have been unfortunate enough to suffer it themselves, they can't understand how debilitating and painful it is. Hope you are able to see some light now, everyday is just one at a time, one foot in front of the other. Best wishes to you.

Depression

Very accurate personal experiences.

Hi, my depression started in

Hi, my depression started in September 2010 i was ill for about 5 months then got better i went cold turkey because i though i didn't need them no more BIG MISTAKE... i became psychotic the start of the day didn't feel like the same day at the end i though everyone was out to get me i couldn't stop thinking about death only the one time i heard a voice it was like it was god talking to me through the wind saying change your way, all this was happing and i managed to keep a full time job i just didn't tell anyone at work the phycosis has gone but i still have depression but i feel like im getting better again less confused. if i ever come across anyone now who is depressed i say to them i know how you feel you are not alone and it seem to help me and the person im saying it to

Thank you

I'm in a very similar position and I agree completely, so many people don't know how to deal with it and it makes you scared to tell people because you don't know how they will react. When someone has never felt the sickness in the pit of your stomach as anxiety hits, it's difficult for them to understand.

New to depression

I just recently am going through an extreme case of anxiety which has lead to depression. I feel like I am not capable of doing any tasks tbat require some thinking. I have now observing how other co-workers or family members perform tasks and I think to myself I would not be able perform the task as good or even not all. I an starting to rely on others to help me with the simple tasks. I can't seem to remember or retell converstions I have with others or tell you about an article I have read in detail. I also started having difficulty in writing and performing simple math tasks. Spelling errors. I even have difficullty in helping my kids with certian homework assignments. Ihave not been sleeping so I stahy awakke I have been reflecting back on my life thinking over an over up how I could have been a better husband, farther, brother and friend t.o people in my life. How I was closed and did not express my feelings more openly. I feel hopeless and can't imagine how.I wii get back to normal.

Support

Hi Al, really sorry to hear that you are feeling hopeless right now. Life sometimes throws things our way that are difficult to cope with. If you need support we have some useful links here: https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/what-are-mental-health-problems/help-support-services Best, Crystal at TTC

Nice Article

Agree with your thought, "People still find it difficult to understand" but we know there are many ways to deal with depression.

Your story is me in the mean time

Hi! I've been strolling this page to find any blog post that could relate to what I am feeling right now and getting to know it more. and your post is the one. I am a second year student and exactly in the place where you were. I have a nearly perfect life, I was a perfect student, but I can feel something wrong in myself. I am not a bad student even now, but the depression slowly crept up on every single aspect of my life. I am very responsible person but at many times, I can just being ignorant, and acknowledging it is actually killing me because I hate being not responsible. The voice is so annoying. I can go on and on with my stories, but anyway, thanks for you post. I will for sure see the wellbeing advisors at uni very soon.

fighting long

I've been fighting with depression for quite some time I feel. I hide it very well when I'm not at home. My bullies and the cause of my depression are my parents. As easy as it is to forget about outside of home, when I am home, all I get is trash talking and hurtful things said to me and about me. I feel no one understands..

Support

Hi Kate, really sorry to hear that you are being bullied. It can be really painful to hold all of those emotions inside. You need to know what you don't have to do that - you are not alone, and there is support out there. We have some links that you might find useful: https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/what-are-mental-health-problems/help-support-services Take care, Crystal at Time to Change

'worse things are happening to others'

I really empathize with your article in particular you saying you have been told that 'worse things are happening to others'. My Mum says this to me and it really hurts as it makes me feel ashamed of being upset but I can't stop feeling that way no matter how hard I try. I also feel bad that other people are suffering more and that I can't help. I know my Mum loves me but I have told her this does not help me the more I try to explain to her the more she says I am wallowing in my own misery and I should just get over it. If only I could I would I would pay any money or do anything to take it all away. Also interestingly I read an article the other day about identifying with mental health problems and how this can mean you don't know who you are without them which I do feel hinders my recovery sometimes but I don't know how to overcome it.

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