"There are parts of myself that I choose to keep private, partially because there are things I’m not ready to share and partially because I don’t want to. And actually, I think that’s okay."
Cara, who blogs at https://caras-corner.com
If you're posting on a public channel like a blog, or a public social media account, everyone can see it. Sharing your story publicly is a good thing to aim for, because, after all, we are trying to change people's attitudes towards mental health. But you have to consider what you're comfortable sharing. Just because you're sharing one aspect of your story, doesn't mean you have to talk about all of it - there might be some things which you want to keep private, and that's ok.
Before you start sharing about a particular aspect of your story, it's worth taking some time to imagine how different people in your life would respond to it. Your parents, friends and colleagues could end up seeing or watching your story, and it may be the first time that they're hearing about a particular part of your experience.
There's no one-size-fits-all answer to this question - different people will feel able to share different things. The most important thing to remember is that you're in control of how much you share, and you should make that decision based on what feels comfortable and safe for you.
There's a huge community of people talking about mental health online, and it can be really positive to meet people sharing similar experiences to you. But it can sometimes feel overwhelming to be part of such a big network. People might get in touch with you asking for advice and support, and it can be tricky to know how to approach these messages.
Top tips for maintaining boundaries online:
- Be aware about the impact that your online relationships are having on you. How much time and energy are they taking up?
- Of course, being kind and supportive to others online is great - but you shouldn't be in a position where you're a person's sole source of support. That's not your role, and it's not best for either you or them. It's OK to be honest with people about what you're able to give, especially if it's having an impact on you.
- If someone is persistently contacting you, and it's making you uncomfortable or impacting your mental health, it is ok for you to distance yourself from them, either by blocking them or ignoring the messages. Your health has to come first!
Signposting
There are lots of services that are available that you can point someone if they are struggling and they get in touch with you. We have a list of support services on our website that you can signpost people to.
Sharing details about particular experiences of mental illness can carry the risk of making things worse for the people reading or watching your content. This is what we call triggering content. By avoiding details that will upset or exclude people, you can make sure that your story is as inclusive as possible, and that everyone can read or watch it!
Tips for avoiding triggering content
It's best to avoid:
- Details of methods of self-harm or suicide attempts. Sharing graphic details can be really upsetting and can also encourage imitative behaviour. You can still create content around self-harm and suicide, just focus on thoughts and feelings rather than actions.
- Referring to specific numbers in the context of eating disorders (such as calories, or weight measurements) can be harmful for people who have experience of those conditions.
If you're dealing with any topic that has the potential to be upsetting - such as self-harm or suicide, but also non-mental health topics like abuse or sexual violence - you might want to include a note about the subject matter at the start of the post or video.
There aren't any hard rules about triggering content. The best you can do is ask yourself: is my content going to alienate anyone, put someone in a difficult position, or make them relive a challenging memory - and can I tell my story in a way that avoids that as much as possible?
"When I get a negative response to my story, I always weigh up whether it's worth my energy engaging with them. Are they willing to listen to me and my experiences? When I do, I don't stoop to their level. Reacting aggressively only fuels the stigma they already believe. Staying calm and reasoned is more powerful and impactful than their hurtful words could ever be."
Katie, who blogs at stumblingmind.com
Sometimes it's good to challenge negativity - after all, our goal is to change attitudes towards people with mental health problems.
But don't feel like you need to challenge every instance of stigma you see online, nor do you have to respond to any negative replies that come directly to you.
Consider a couple of things before responding to a negative or critical comment:
- What mental space are you in? Would it be healthier to engage with the criticism or to ignore it?
- Do you think it's likely that you'll change their mind? Are they coming to the discussion in good faith, or are they being critical for the sake of it, to provoke a negative reaction?
If you do respond to a critical comment, try to be understanding and constructive. The person might be wrong, but insulting them probably isn't the best way to change their mind. Respond calmly as best you can, and try to reason them through your point of view.