Stress and mental illness: Talking about the 'glass ceiling for men'

We all know stress. Most of us have experienced a growing sense of panic for instance when having too much to do all at one time, while deep down we either want to shout in fury or run away.

A real, almost physical change to the body, a chemical rearranging of hormones, transmitters, biochemical connections…

Stress can be the driver behind psychic change. It can have an effect over time like being caught in a fractured relationship, or trapped in a high-pressured job you don’t enjoy.

To admit stress is taken as a sign of weakness - this is particularly true for men

When I’ve spoken to managers and directors, in workshops on health and safety and stress, about carrying out organisation-wide stress surveys they’ve consistently said that they would never want to admit to ‘stress’. Especially middle managers, those who are trying to rise to positions of greater responsibility. To admit to stress is taken as a sign of weakness, an inability to cope, and I think this is particularly true for men.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am still trying to decide when or whether, at work, to confess to my personal experience of mental ill health problems because of the sense of weakness and the possibility of a glass ceiling for men in their career progression. However, when I first 'came out' about my breakdowns and my illness, in the health and safety press, I had emails from a variety of people both men and women who were all grateful for me 'speaking' up particularly in the world of work.

Stress is a result of each individual's life experience and is usually very real

I had seven years of psychotherapy on and off (but mostly on!) and it’s true that after a breakdown, you may become more resilient to pressure and stress, more able to manage your reactions.

Some people think that stress is all in the imagination or that you are ‘putting it on’ to get time off work...however stress is a result of each individual's life experience, their upbringing, their relationships, the associations and memories they have, and the situation they find themselves in...and it is usually very real.

Often men laugh it off, almost as if it is effeminate, it is a put down like the bully who does not respect the individual. And ironically, I can do the same to myself, I can choose to ignore the warning signs and to dismiss my reactions without truly listening to what lies beneath...

Creativity and mindfulness can help us to cope with stress

Stress can of course arise for a whole host of reasons. A friend of mine used to name these reasons on the fingers of one hand: family, friends, finance, relationships, work, and in the centre of the palm: health.

Most of us can cope with brief periods of overload but when worries become prolonged and chronic the stress that they give rise to can start to eat away at the balance of the psyche and upset the body's equilibrium creating ill health, both physical and mental. This can show up as time off work, stomach ulcers, heart disease, heart attack or anxiety, depression or even awaken latent disorders, and contribute to psychotic episodes – breakdown.

So, stress and health can create a vicious circle: poor health leads to stress and greater stress leads to poorer health. This is often the case when we are out of work. Lack of work has been shown to be bad for your health. It can be difficult to take control of your life, to continue to make all those job applications and to recognise opportunities when they arise.

And the reverse is true, good health can help reduce stress, through physical fitness and mental resilience.

So, what helped me?

Based on my experience, I’d suggest two paths in parallel: creativity and mindfulness. The first I’ve experienced as a writer and poet, the second I am still learning.

And to close, there is also in a sense, that universal, underlying stress - the knowledge that we are not here forever. And yet, that is arguably one of the most profound reasons for enjoying life, putting our worries into perspective and living in the moment. We are all unique in our appreciation of life, if only it were possible to more widely celebrate our diversity and eliminate stigma.

In his second book, Voices, Steve presents a variety of real-life stories of mental ill health, from a wide range of individuals’ personal experience including bullying, bereavement, bipolar and how they have coped. Visit: www.makingconnectionsmatter.org