April 10, 2013

Man looking out to seaThis is my first blog so I will try to make it inspiring because that is what I like to do, inspire people, inspire them to change and to try to better themselves. I want to be a good role model for people with this condition (I have schizophrenia).

At first I was suffering in silence as I call it, which was awful and no-one seemed to catch on even though I hardly said two words and I wasn’t being myself.

My parents didn’t see the change in me or were maybe in denial but I cannot be sure. Maybe they thought it was a phase or that I would snap out of it soon, I don’t know, but in my opinion they didn’t know.

I started to withdraw from social things and I started to drink which was a really bad idea as I got into a lot of trouble. My friends started to make fun of me because I was being so quiet and that didn’t help; not one of them asked me how I was and that was awful. I had a girlfriend around this time when I was about 15 or 16 but she didn’t know there was anything wrong.

I had problems talking to people

I knew I was having problems but I was in denial and thought that I could handle it and I would be ok soon but it just got worse. I tried to work but it was hard to work when your heart isn’t in it and I had problems talking to people and making friends, which could have got me into a lot of trouble. I was a good worker. I always kept things clean and tried my best despite it all.

Maybe it was just the distraction that kept me going, that and my dad who taught me a lot while I was there as he was my foreman. Then the pressure kept building and building until I couldn’t take it anymore. Things were getting too much and I had a breakdown. That is when my boss took me away to get sectioned and that is when I first got some help with my problems.

Sometimes just a smile from someone can do wonders

I can’t believe no one noticed and no one ever asked me what was wrong. It was as if no one cared or they just thought I could handle myself because I was a grown man. I realize it is hard to tell if someone might be experiencing a mental health problem and a lot of people don’t want to pry but sometimes even just a smile from someone can do wonders; be friendly and try to help them if you can, even just a sympathetic ear.

I wanted to talk but I didn’t want people to know something is wrong; I’m a man and we are meant to be strong and able.

After I got sectioned it was an all-time low for me and our family. I knew things would never be the same again. I didn’t have to work anymore and I had people coming to see me to make sure I was taking medication etc. I still had no friends but it was worse as I stayed inside my room scared of the world. It was very sad but it was all I was able to do at that time. Things did get better but it took a long time.

I am 30 years old now and I am just starting to try and live a normal life or as normal as I can. I take medication and my symptoms are totally under control apart from some tiredness and fogginess. I feel almost completely recovered and I like to tell people that.

What do you think about the issues raised in this blog?

Share your views with us on Twitter >>

Or sign our pledge wall to show your support and find out how talking tackles mental health discrimination.


Share your story

Too many people are made to feel ashamed. By sharing your story, you can help spread knowledge and perspective about mental illness that could change the way people think about it.