How to be in your mate's corner

Having a mate in your corner can make all the difference when you have a mental health problem. So, if your mate is acting differently, step in. It's not hard - read these stories to see how it's done. 

My mental health suffered at university

My time at uni might have been improved if someone had told me that it's ok not to 'fit in' and not to enjoy it. In fact, I'd say over half the people I've spoken to have said they didn't enjoy uni, so I don't know where we got this idea that it's meant to be "the time of your life" where you make your friends for life and get up to lots of antics and partying.

Ask twice and start a conversation about mental health

Performing: I make a living out of it. I get on stage and make people laugh. I’m currently on tour doing just that. And I love it. But (and there is a but) even in a dream job, I’m constantly acting like I’m fine when sometimes I’m not. Don’t we all do that though? I mean, that’s part of my job, to entertain when sometimes I hurt inside. But aren’t we all putting on a mask when we are asked a simple question:

“How are you?”

It's hard to talk about mental health, so ask twice.

We all do it, don’t we?

‘How you doing?’

‘Yeah, I’m good thanks.’

Or, in my neck of the woods, ‘I’m alright.’

No further questions your honour.

Most of the time we will be just that: alright; fine; okay. Good, even.

Sometimes though, we won’t be. Sometimes we might feel that our whole world is falling apart. Still, ‘I’m alright.’

But sometimes, all we want is for someone to see. For someone to break through and ask, ‘Are you sure?’

5 ways to ask twice when your mate says I'm fine

When asked “how are you?”, how often do you tell the truth?

Yep, thought so. Don’t worry, I fib too. All the time.

Now, how often, when someone says to you “I’m fine”, do you follow up if you’re think they’re not? Yep, me too.

I’m very fortunate that I have a fiancée, some family members and a handful of mates who seem to sense when my mental health is dipping and know to ask me twice (or more!) if they hear “yeah, fine, you?”.

Now, asking twice doesn’t mean literally saying the same thing again. That would be annoying.

“How are you?”

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