I was about to take some goods (highly expensive goods!) to Scunthorpe Hospital and I just couldn't face it anymore. It's hard to describe the feeling; the saying “my minds going 100mph” is cliché, but that’s what it felt like. My thoughts were racing, going in every direction possible. It consumed me, taking over my every thought until it became to much. Now, everybody’s response is different; mine just happens to be wishing I wasn't here anymore. So walked out without saying a word, drove home and I was planning on not having to deal with the consequences, if you catch my drift!?
Thankfully, I was able to make it through. But I work in a warehouse driving a forktruck and all my previous jobs have been labouring and construction, so mainly male dominated areas. I can handle myself in the daily banter that comes with the territory in this line of work but we definitely don’t make a habit of talking about our feelings. So, yes I was extremely worried about what people would think of me: I've worked there 11 years now and see a lot of same people on a daily basis – drivers love a chat when loading or unloading a wagon, so I knew they'd definitely be asking questions about where I’d been for 5 months.
But from that day that I walked out of work, everybody have been so supportive. Some were a touch weary on how to approach the subject, some straight up not getting it; but of course they cared for my wellbeing. A shout out for Alan, for an old boy he was understanding and let me get on with getting on. But most of all it was Danny who's been fantastic.
My work load fell onto to everybody but mainly on him and he took it in his stride, never moaned at the extra hours (let's be honest he liked the extra pennies) and just treated me as ‘normal’, wasn't afraid to approach the subject or even make jokes about it. It's definitely made us closer, we’ve gone from workmates to real mates. I try and get round there to cook for him and Danni and let's be honest again- he likes my spectacular cooking! He even changed from PlayStation to Xbox for me(I know, right!)!
If you do work with somebody who suffers from any sort of mental illness be there for them, try to understand them – maybe it needs a touch of perseverance. We're not doing it on purpose and trying our best. And maybe ask them if they want to go for a drink after work. Go on, do it now!