December 1, 2014

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).May In the past (when I was in my early 20s) I had experienced an eating disorder and I had a mild form of depression. I received treatment and it wasn’t until I was more honest toward the end of the treatment that I realized the actual reason why I act and do the stuff I did.

I just decided to keep everything bottled up

A year into my treatment I decided one person I might be able to rely on was one of my friends. I finally opened up to them about everything that I was going through. They didn’t give me the response or support I needed: I got told to move on, to forget about it. Maybe I was making this a bigger deal than it was? If my friend was thinking this what were other people thinking? Did I cause myself to breakdown by bringing up my past and forcing myself to remember painful experience? I was so confused. I just decided to keep everything bottled up. I never felt so abnormal; I never hated myself so much.

A friend I haven’t known for long has helped me in more ways than they know

A few years past things and things weren’t the same; I couldn’t keep up with my lies - I was slowly destroying myself. I had a really bad argument with my friend, and bad treatment followed. I couldn’t cope with it, but I blamed myself. Things turned around though: a friend I haven’t known for long has helped me in more ways than they know. They saw everything from the outside: they didn’t judge the situation; they just said it as it was. They were like a friend I needed all along: someone to support me - someone to encourage me to get the help I needed. They didn’t force me: they were just there for me to talk to when I needed; they gave me the guidance and strength. I’m not going to lie; therapy isn’t easy, but with that friend and couple of other people just being there for me (not forcing me to do what I don’t feel ready to do), I am slowly on the road to recovery. These friends also encouraged me to share my story by blogging.

I hope that sharing my story and experience shows people that it is OK to tell others about your mental health issues

I was so glad to have met my new friend who guided me to the first step. Admitting to people I needed help and that I was (and am) suffering from a mental illness was so scary because of the stigma attached to having mental health issues. I hope that sharing my story and experience shows people that it is OK to tell others about your mental health issues: if people don’t understand or aren't supportive (even when you explain things to them) then they aren't a good person to be around. I am getting better for me and no-one else: I am so glad I have the right tools and right people around me now. I can be hard to open up but I’m showing people that I’m not afraid anymore, and I’m proud to share my experience. I hope that I can inspire a lot more people to open up to their friends: I know that if they are your true friends that they will be there to support you – no matter what.

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