Gabriella, November 11, 2017

"Imagine that despite all of the physical symptoms of a cold you’re having, people say that you’re imagining it. That it’s a ‘fad’. That is life with anxiety." – Gabriella

When you feel a cold coming, what do you do? Wrap up warm, drink lots of fluids, maybe a hot water and lemon. Get plenty of rest, eat good food.

Are you 100% prepared for the fact that the cold is coming? Yes. Do you already have ideas for things that may help get you through that cold? Yes. Does it still make you feel drowsy and snotty and not in best health? Yes.

So you were aware the cold was coming, you did a load of things to try and prevent it from coming, you did even more things to try and make it bearable, and yet you still had a cold, and felt the symptoms, and felt under the weather.

When you feel anxiety coming on, you often try and work out where it’s come from. You might talk about it, perhaps write about it, and analyse the Why’s and work on How you’re going to get through this. Deep breaths. Remind yourself you are in control of your body. Remind yourself you know what the root of the problem is, and work it through in your mind.

Oh look at that. Your chest is pounding. Your muscles are shaking. You feel hot. You feel shaky. You feel agitated. You are willing your body to calm, and it’s now causing you physical pain.

You were aware it was coming, you did a load of things to try and prevent it from coming, you did even more things to try and make it bearable, and yet you still have anxiety, physical symptoms, and you feel terrible.

Go back to the cold scenario. Imagine that despite all of the physical symptoms of you’re having, people say that you’re imagining it. That it’s a ‘fad’. That you’re overthinking things. That you take things too personally. That you’re dramatic. That you’re just causing problems for other people.

That is life with anxiety. 

Not being able to speak without feeling like maybe what you said was wrong. Or did I offend someone? Should I have used a different word? Maybe I sounded too emotional. I reckon that because I was shaking, they think I’m just playing a victim. I got too flustered, I didn’t make the important point clear. 

The above is not from anxiety itself. It’s what you become when you live with it for a long time, and are surrounded by those who don’t understand it. You second guess everything because society has told you all your life, that you take things wrong, you take things to heart, you make up situations that aren’t there.

The truth is – you’re more acute to situations, behaviour, vibrations in a room. It’s not that you imagined it, it’s that you felt it where others didn’t. Maybe things affect you more than others. The moment people start blaming your anxiety for the real feelings you’re having – move away from those people. They are not helping.

The sad thing is, you feel alone. You don’t really know where to turn, or what to do.

You’re exhausted, and sometimes, when the pain is really bad, and you just can’t live like this anymore, you wish that maybe you just won’t wake up in the morning.

That is life with anxiety.

“Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening.”

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Comments

Anxiety blog, 11th Nov. 2017

Anxiety is part of my life. Often symptoms happen unconsciously, e.g.., regular visits to the loo. Recently I had expressed an opinion in a general conversation. One of the people asked whether anyone else thought like me. "So it's only Barbara?" Was that me over-thinking? I don't think so. I thought differently; that doesn't make my thought wrong. I am also told by friends that I shouldn't do something because it will make me feel uncomfortable and anxious. In my present circumstances, I have no choice but to do certain things. Therefore I bring things on myself. Life is not always so straightforward. Could others please understand that?

Anxiety

I sympathize with the above notion. I recently discovered that people think I talk too much but instead of telling me face to face these so called friends discussed me behind my back...thus lowering my self esteem even further.

Time to Change

Hi - this sounds really tough and I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. How are things at the moment? Are you getting any support? Take care - Tash at Time to Change

This really hit home for me

I really resonated with this blog post and so glad someone has written truthfully about this, thank you!

Anxiety

I read this while crying in the car after having a huge panic attack and staying outside instead of going into a restaurant with my Mother for a family dinner to celebrate her birthday. On the ride here we stopped to talk to her neighbors and they brought up something health related that is a HUGE panic trigger/phobia of mine at the moment and my Mom got so fristrated with me for falling into a panic when all she wanted to do was check in on them. I felt horrible but also frustrated- but most of all I felt like an alien. Im already so aware that Im different, and hate myself for it most days. And I get tired of feeling misunderstood- especially with my phobias which are hugely dibilitating. This post validated a lot of what I go through and made me feel less alone. While I wish others like you did not have to go through this horrible illness, I can at least find gratitude for the fact that we don't have to be alone in it. This subject is still so taboo and even doctors sometimes can alienate us for our symptoms which can really make one feel crazy. But at the end of the day we are just people, separate of our anxiety. While anxiety may heavily affect us, it does not have to define us. Sometimes it is so hard to remember that when no one around us seems to understand. Thank you for this post, it really helped me through this evening.

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