March 17, 2012

Dear Mam,

There are not enough words to say how much I want to thank you for not giving up on me. Without you I wouldn’t have recovered from anorexia and instead your last memories of me would be tainted by that horrible illness which turned me into an evil, lying monster.

I know you say that it was me who saved myself and you were just there to help but you did so much more than that. Faced with the choice of either sending me away to an out of area hospital or becoming my full time carer, you chose the latter. Not an easy task and one that some parents would not have the courage to take on.

Instead of listening to the unit’s mad brain ideas, you encouraged me to get back out into the real world again. You did what was best for me and I can’t thank you enough for not allowing the unit to make me an inpatient.

You still love me even after everything I put you through; you never gave up on me – in fact when the unit and college both said I would fail my A-Levels, it was you who believed in me and encouraged me to show them what I was made of. And here I am, aged 25, with a degree, a masters and now studying for a degree in counselling!

I think what was important was you separated anorexia from me. While everyone else viewed me as a number or someone wanting attention, you realised that it was someone else living in our house; it was not me, your daughter.

I put you through so much – fights, lying to your face; making myself sick whilst you were in the next room crying, stress etc and one day I will find the best way to thank you.

I love you mam; you are my best friend. I am glad I am Rachel, your daughter again and I have had the chance to experience life, help others, be called an inspiration and be an auntie.

To me you are my role model and the most inspirational woman I know. I hope I make you proud now.

Love you always,

Rachel


 

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