It's by asking not fixing that people can help the most

Everyone knows what a bad day's like. I'd come to the end of my temporary job. I now just had the long commute left; the only part of this job I wouldn't miss. I waited some time in the cold before the bus arrived, and sat on it long enough to just see the pharmacy close its doors at the other end of my journey. I wasn't going to be picking up my prescription today. The shops had shut, so I wasn't going to be able to pick up a drink and a snack to be able to take my next lot of painkillers (it's not advised to take them on an empty stomach). I started the walk back home, hoping the cold whether might numb the pain in my knees. I then heard a voice tell me “Cheer up, love!”

We need to be allowed to have bad days

It's not helpful. A stranger's command for me to cheer up won't make the day better. When I told him so, he said he was only being nice, and now I was being rude. I apologised. After all, it's very sweet for a stranger to be concerned. But sometimes we don't need concern; we need understanding. We need to be allowed to have bad days. Our lives aren't going to be one never-ending rush of joy, and pretending they are is just annoying. It's just another difficult thing to do on a bad day; pretending that you're fine.

“Well, if that's the case,” he said, “get a life and get with it,” he said, and stormed off. An interesting behaviour for someone who'd just told me off for being rude!

People wanted to ignore it so I'd 'cheer up'

At least he didn't tell me 'Cheer up, it might never happen'. It's a phrase I've hated since a teacher said it to me when I was 12. I bitterly told her “It already has.” My friend's illness had not got better, only worse, and now that friend was in hospital. The worst thing was that no one seemed to want to talk about a sad thing like the horrible disease my friend had. They wanted to ignore it, so I'd 'cheer up'.

It all reminds me of stories I'd read about people with depression. People always want to get them to 'cheer up'. And a lot of the time, they can't. They don't care about the nice weather today, or that they have lots of nice things that others don't. But they might well appreciate your sympathy if you accept that.

It often helps to accept that things are hard for that person right now

Whether it's a bad day, or something much more serious, don't assume you can fix it. It often helps to accept that things are hard for that person right now. Often, it just helps to listen (I liked writing my little rant at the top about how the pharmacy was shut). Try not to make assumptions; we often don't know what's going on in someone's life, and we can't ever know what's going on inside their head. Sometimes people just need their space, and sometimes people just want someone to chat to. Ask. It's by asking, and not trying to 'fix' things, that you can often help the most.