When I began my journey with mental health issues eight years ago, I was terrified of my diagnosis of manic depression. I saw my illness as a death sentence, something to be feared.
The single most important thing I did to accept my illness as a part of my life, versus something that would end it, was educating myself. Once I learned what bipolar was (and was not), I was able to get a handle on my mental health problems. My illness no longer owned me – I owned it.
If someone in your life has been diagnosed with mental health issues, it can be really scary to talk to them about how they are feeling. You might be afraid to over or underestimate how sick they are, or what their illness means to them.
It might help you approach them with a bit more confidence if you find out what exactly their illness is. You can contact your local GP for literature about their health condition, or use charities like Time to Change to learn more.
As your confidence grows, you may find it easier to talk with them about what they are going through. I know for my family, it’s been a real boon to our discussions that they have read up on my illness, and understand the ups and downs of my day.
My husband, who met me a number of years into my diagnosis, can now see my ‘red flag’ moments before I do, and as a team, we’re able to keep a handle on my bipolar. And as our son Alex grows up, we will help educate him about Mummy’s mental health issues in kid-friendly language, so that he never has to be afraid of my illness.
I would rather you say the wrong thing than say nothing at all
I understand the fear of saying the wrong thing, or of trying to be 'helpy', or worse of all, staying silent and hoping it will all sort itself out. From my perspective, I would rather you say the wrong thing than say nothing at all!
I'll happily tell my husband what I do and do not need from him in terms of support, but if he doesn't ask the question in the first place, I can't keep him in the loop. And in the same vein, I need to trust that when my husband says he sees something that worries him, and that I take it seriously.
When ignorance is removed from the equation, I find fear leaves pretty quickly afterwards
It all comes down to knowledge; the more you know about your condition, or the condition of a loved, the easier it becomes to handle it. When ignorance is removed from the equation, I find fear leaves pretty quickly afterwards.
I'll still have bad days – that comes with having a chronic illness. But knowing as much as I can about my bipolar means those bad days aren't nearly as bad as they were when I was first diagnosed.
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