The small things show me that I am not alone

Recently I had a time when my mental health deteriorated significantly and I was very unwell. Hannah's blog I decided to tell one of my friends what was going on because she was coming over to see me and I knew she might cross paths with one of the nurses (and I’ve learnt from experience the awkwardness this can cause if there is no pre-warning). A few days after I’d told her, she gave me a candle with a note that said “A little light for the dark days.” That’s what small things mean to me - they can’t fix everything, but they help me to keep going that little bit longer and tell me that I am not alone. Maybe to the person giving them they seem like small things, but to the person receiving them they mean the world.

“You know where I am if you need anything”

“I’m so sorry that things are so difficult for you at the moment”, “You know where I am if you need anything”, “Want some company?”, “Hope your appointment went ok”, “Please take care of yourself”. These phrases do not cost anything, but they come with a compassion and understanding that helps combat the army of negative thoughts that are marching through my brain.

It matters to me that I can send a text to someone about both the new series of our favourite TV show and that I’ve had a difficult therapy session - that both these things are part of my life, and one is no less valid than the other. I live in a house now where I don’t have to hide my medication or try to intercept the post so that no one sees all my medical letters. When I get distressed I often find it difficult to speak, but I have a friend I know I can ring anyway even when I have no words and where I am always welcome to stay over.

Take the time to listen

The cups of tea, the sitting on the stairs with your arm around me as I cry, the “Stay where you are, I’m coming”, the listening to the frenzied rant that makes very little sense; these things have made a massive difference to me when I’ve been struggling. When someone takes the time to be caring they show you the hope and purpose and value that you have lost sight of for yourself. The more I speak to other people who are struggling with their mental health the more I hear about the small things that people have done for them or the small things they would like to happen that have or would make such a difference to them - taking the time to listen, not treating them like an idiot, providing reassurance and/or encouragement, gently challenging the thoughts that are not true, spending time with them, offering to accompany them to the shop, or down the stairs and understanding when that hurdle is too high.