February 12, 2013

Paul, a Time to Change bloggerWarning, some readers may find this post triggering.

I was sat in the staff canteen at work when a colleague, reading an article about a man who had committed suicide, turned to me and said “I don’t know how anybody can be so selfish, leaving behind a wife and family.” My heart sunk as I myself have on 2 occasions attempted suicide. I was horrified by his comments and I struggled to hold back the tears. I went back to work wishing I had had the confidence to challenge my colleague’s views.

Whilst I can understand the anguish families must go through when they struggle to come to terms with a relative who has taken their own life, I also think that people need to be more understanding about why someone might take their life.

I suffer from severe clinical depression and have feelings of loneliness and isolation. If you feel as though you have nobody to talk to it can be so hard opening up. How do you tell a best friend, mother or father that you wake up every day with thoughts of suicide?

It’s so easy for people to make judgements or assumptions about those who commit suicide. However, I think times are changing are and that the view of my colleague is not everybody’s opinion but I believe we still have a long way to go in educating people on the effects of mental illness.

We need to keep being open and keep mental health in the public domain and to make people feel they are not alone. There are people out there that care and are willing to listen. Campaigns like Time to Change really do make a massive difference in people’s lives. We need to keep challenging people’s views and help end stigma and discrimination.

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If you are experiencing mental health problems or need urgent support you can contact the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org or these help and support services.


 

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Comments

Suicide

I too have heard colleagues make these comments and say things like 'its just a cry for help' if it isn't successful I also find these attitudes distressing, I have one failed attempt which was not a cry for help nor was it selfish I really wish people would think about what they say. I have just returned to work after a long absence and still have very 'down' days, my employer is being minimally supportive and so far refusing to put in place the changes I need to stay in work which makes me feel they want me to quit. I wish people were more understanding, if my problem was physical it would be a different story x

I have tried many times and

I have tried many times and after many hours of talking to my psychologist l am seeing the light and it feels wonderful,almost born again, so there is hope when you think there is none. KEEP TALKING IS ALL L CAN SAY Regards Ivan

depression, suicide

I have medium depression not severe but far to bad to be mild, I am also a self-harmer I struggle day to day with dealing with the symptoms that come with the condition, shame, hopelesness, isolation, low mood, mood swings, suicidial thoughts and actions; I have felt this way since I was 13, 4 nearly 5 years and only just been diagnosed after a near suicide attempt and confessing my self harming to my GP, who gave me anti-depressants and monthy check ups and said I could call whenever I felt extremely bad.

Hi Sarah.. My name is Jojo

Hi Sarah.. My name is Jojo and i suffered from depression myself and i am caring gor my 14 yrs old daughter who has attempted suicide and suffers from depression..i would like to ask if you reciving any theraphy??medication is a part of recovery but i strongly believe from my own experience that talking (might not be easy at first) is very important..please let me know Warm regards

mental health-suicide

Suicide is one of. The hardest things I've had 2 face as I have children n iv lost count how many times I've done iti know I shouldnt of been here now but I am. But im fed up with docs keep saying its drink or drugs well let me tell u itss not n ur not in our thoughts when we feel like shit n worth nothing n we r better off dead cause we cant take no more shit pain n suffering n not having my kids around me we r humans who's a lot of us have had shit since we were kids ndont know how 2 deal or cope with it. Every day is a fighting battle not only for me but for my kids n mates who have seen me go off on one of my self destruct episodes n they dont know what 2do ..

suicide

I tried to commit suicide about 5 years ago and wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for my daughter, who was 9 at the time. She came home early from her friends and found me in the bathroom. she sat with me for a long time telling me how much she loves me and how much she needs me to be here for her. its my girl that is the first to see the signs when im slipping and the first to offer me help, I cannot thank her enough for my life.

Depression at work place cause me want to die

Every now and then, I still feel or wished my heart beat stop and brain not functioning and no breathing - being dead! It was atarted by years of experiencing discrimination, verbelly bully by some colleague at work place, but no one I can talk to at work place. I was the only one different race to all the others. Cause me severe depression and isolated, "no ones care of me" feeling! I hope emplyment law or some sort authority start to support mental health and well being at workplace, to reinforce, Even the smallest family run business like my workplace 20++ staff in the office but the atmosphere of discrimination at race and sex are just too severe but no one help me. If I tell somebody at work about my depression and want to die, they gonna fired me. But I have bills to pay, plus this sort of economy climax I just can't leave this job just yet. I continuing taking prescription anti-depression. Not afford any therspist £50 each time for two hours. What else can I do with depression cause at the work place by the MD and some colleague?? Seems nothing else I can do.

Hello, I'm sorry to hear you

<p>Hello, I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time at work. The Samaritans are always available if you need someone to talk to. You can call them on&nbsp;08457 90 90 90, email jo@samaritans.org or find your local branch if you want to talk to someone face to face http://www.samaritans.org/branches - the Mind legal team will also be able to advise you about your position at work and your legal rights. You can contact them on 0300 466 6463 or email legal@mind.org.uk&nbsp;</p>

I can't explain how much

I can't explain how much people's ignorance gets to me and stigma. Feeling suicidal and attempting suicide is such a dark place to be in & I don't think people actually understand that . I have been there and attempted it as I was in an extremely dark place both times where I simply could not see another way out of the misery and in balance in my head with mood disorder and eating disorder also at the time it was the darkest place I have ever been . I still now have thoughts but am managing to challenge it more . Sometimes though I find it a daily battle to survive when I'm in such a low state and get feelings of anger and frustration as I just want to be well and balanced and I don't feel people completely understand that and understand me x

my son

My 22 year old son has had several suicide atempts. yes as his mum, it heart wrenching to think i might lose him, but also it hard to watch the torment and despair that leads to these black moods and feelings of worthlessness. i can't blame him for wanting to escape all the pain , anger, and dispair he feels but i can offer him my love and understanding and just pray the mental health service will finally get off their backsides and help him understand and manage to live with what is going on in his head. I am constantly disgusted and amazed by people perception of his suicide atempts, our GP even turned round to me last week and said that at least he didn't have a motorbike so i didn't have to worry about him dying in a crash on one! and many family members, who not only my son needs to support him but i need to support me just say it attention seeking, they just don't understand how black his moods are. i hope each person in this position knows there is someone who loves and cares for them, but i hope this doesn't add to their anguish when battling this life or death choice. xx

Depression and suicide

I always knew that i suffered from some form of depression , to me life just seemed such a struggle and although to everyone else i seemed ok inside i was in pain and many days i would simply put on my mask and just plod on. I didn't know how to tell someone, By the time i reached 40 i was finding it harder and harder to carry on, to get up each morning and face another day of loneliness, stress and the pressures that my life brought forth each day, to put it simply i wanted to die, on the 4th December 2011 i had a very rough day at work, so much so that my boss was bullying me to a degree and i couldn't take much more. when i got home, without thinking about it i attempted suicide, i had sunk that low into my own darkness that i didn't even know what i was doing, i was aware of my actions but unable to control them, not sure if that makes sense but that is how it felt to me. was it selfish of me to try, no i don't think so. at the time nothing about friends or family came into it, i don't think it does for many who sink that low, it was all about the pain and how to stop it. i still have my moods, my moments of anxiety i am still carrying on, yes i still sometimes think about suicide but i am learning to push it away, i was totally honest with everyone and felt no shame in what i tried, about being depressed or my meds. I have a mental health problem but i am seeking help and i will never feel ashamed of that

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