Mental health affects everyone in some way, shape or form; even the stunner behind the bar, the celeb who ‘has it all’ and ‘Bob’ next door. Problem is, you can't see it and it can be hidden - but it's still there.
I felt really low after some family issues and being a bloke from Africa, it's not something you let known. I was trying to plug my way through a number of emotions; feeling low, let down, abandoned, anxiety - you name it. I lost a lot of weight and couldn’t sleep.
It took me a long time to come to terms with my mental illness. My childhood and upbringing were incredibly difficult, but throughout those formative years I never really felt like I couldn’t cope.
Suicide is a big word! From seeing it portrayed in the media to reading people’s personal stories, either a family’s experience or the person themselves, it can be scary to even think about. My journey with it began when someone close to me experienced suicidal thoughts, but I never really understood what they were going through at the time, how it could affect someone mentally and physically – feeling so low and wanting to never tell anyone about what you’re going through.
I have experienced mental health problems since I was 15 and, for a while, I thought I would never be able to achieve anything. Even now there are times when I feel so alone, I sit in the dark crying whilst the voices inside my head scream at me and make me doubt everything. They even make me doubt that I have friends, that I have anyone who cares about me. Today though, I took a step back and realised that, though in my darkest moments when I don’t think anybody cares, they really do. I want to talk about six people in particular.